RIP Michael Clarke Duncan

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Act of Valor review





I've only ever fallen asleep in a movie THREE times.

First time I was like ten and it was in a drive-in. I can't even remember the movie's name. But my parents do...

Second time I had just gotten back from a month of back-packing through Europe and was EXHAUSTED.

FULL DISCLOSURE:

I FELL ASLEEP DURING THE MIDDLE OF ACT OF VALOR...ABOUT 45 MINUTES.

Here's the thing...I wasn't that tired. I could feel the sleep coming and I actually signed off on it.

This movie is THAT BAD.

I stayed awake for the first 20-40 minutes and awoke to watch the last 30 minutes. So maybe that makes me an unreliable reviewer. But personally, I think it speaks volumes about the quality of the flick.

Elephant in the room? The acting is atrocious. It's so bad it makes my heart hurt just remembering it.

Of course it's bad. The "actor's" in the piece are non-active Navy Seals.

This is the first mistake within the movie. Because, I'm sorry, but the question must be asked, why? I've seen the behind-the-scenes docs that tell us how the filmmakers wanted to make an extremely realistic Navy Seal movie and didn't want to fake anything. They supposedly thought about using actors but then realized it'd be better to use the real guys.

I smell bullshit.




 This all begs the question, is this a legitimate movie or was this nothing more than a promotional/recruitment video from the start?

It certainly seems like it was. From the ultra-militaristic dialogue and demeanor of the "characters" to the video game-like filming of the action sequences (I swear to GOD, the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare first-person-style shooting is used too many times to count) everything seems geared towards filing the sheep in.

The GOD-AWFUL monologue is the worst offender. Voiced-over by an absolutely ZERO-charismatic Seal with almost no respect for a child's upbringing and/or respect for life (you have to see the movie to understand-but please, don't bother) the movie GRINDS to a halt and leaves you wondering why they didn't use real actor's for the roles.

And therein lies the reason that I hate this movie.

When you shoot a movie you watch what is called "dailies". These are rough cut pieces of what you filmed for the day. As you get closer to finishing the movie, editing begins, and then you really get to see what you have. You finish editing, you produce the film on large scale. You fix any problems with it in post-production (which these days could mean CGI-edits, and such) and the film is printed.

NEVER AT ONE POINT ANYONE IN THE PRODUCTION REALIZED THEY HAD A FLYING PIECE OF SHIT!?





So either:

A: The film producers were making an obvious propaganda-film - which is odd since our troops are being recalled and the "war" is seemingly over (for the moment).

OR

B: The film producers had no idea what they were doing and legitimately tried to make a very realistic-action flick.

I'm rolling with A.

I don't think there was any grand conspiracy here. If anything, I feel the military got taken advantage of. This film was shot when we were still heavily at "war" and there was not any obvious sign that we were leaving the Middle East. I think the film producers probably thought, "hey we'll shoot a movie like a Call of Duty video game and make a shit ton of movie from doing so while having help from the military in both cooperation and fronting the bill...YAY us!" 

The result:

A MOVIE THAT MAKES EVERYONE LOOK BAD...INCLUDING THE VIEWER.

This really is a piece of shit. I hope you never watch it. Even the action is boring.

It's boring because you don't care.

How can you care about these monotonous drones that speak their dialogue with such malcontent and in an Anakin Skywalker-like tone? How can you care about these cliche' characters that are played like Ancient Roman soldiers yet come off as testosterone-fueled ex-jocks that never got over their High School crush?

I get rooting for our soldiers...I have no problem with that. But this is a movie, I can root for a guy wearing an American flag on his shoulder for a scene or two, but do you actually expect me to stay focused on dumb action (that isn't even shot well) for over an hour when I don't care about the stakes, the cost, or the people involved?

This movie doesn't get a rating out of 10.

It get's a:




Saturday, February 25, 2012

Oh George...


You know, I've kept mostly silent about the whole, "George Lucas makes Red Tails and Hollywood is racist for not wanting to put it out there" debacle. But it's when I see videos supporting him and his bullshit - that's when I get pissed and have to stand up.

From various articles I've written on this site most would be able to tell that I don't like George Lucas. Or at least the Lucas that has existed from about 1985 onward. He's done nothing but instill a sense in me that he's absolutely a money-grubbing, corporate stooge who is arrogant and out-of-touch. He is a bully and a businessman who THINKS he's an artist with talent. But I digress.

Lucas has been wanting to make Red Tails for years. He finally got around to it. The facts are that he financed the movie 100%. Meaning he made it with his money. He tried selling the script for years but nobody wanted it. This has been attributed mostly because a television movie was made (called the Tuskegee Airmen) right around this time so it was an unnecessary movie to make but also that the script sucked. That's hearsay, so who knows? Bottom line, Lucas has TONS of projects he's talked about for YEARS that he's going to make, or has been working on, or whatever. I remember hearing about Red Tails back in Junior High for godsakes and that was a LONG time ago. The man is a lot of things, he's also a procrastinator. Anyhoo, he finally get's around to making Red Tails. He doesn't direct it, but the rumors are that he was on the set A LOT, had final say in every decision-making process and even heavily re-shot a significant portion of the film. So for all intents and purposes, you could call Red Tails a George Lucas movie.

So what happens next? He takes the movie around to the studios to get them interested in either buying it and releasing it or simply releasing it. So either the studio get's more money from ticket sales or less depending on the deal they want to make. Many studio's pass on the project.




So you're George Lucas...you're an egomaniac and you were expecting a gigantic bidding war for your new movie...which doesn't happen. What do you do?

You pull the race card of course.

First off, I'll be clear. I have not watched Red Tails...nor do I ever plan to. It was made by Lucasfilm and after the Prequel Trilogy I have nothing but distaste for anything Lucas puts his stamp on. I suffered through Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but that's because it's Indy. Plus, the movie just didn't look good. If it had looked better, I probably would've checked it out, but it just looked BAAAD.

And from all accounts, it is BAAAD. This is why the studio's passed on it. I've heard it is horribly written and blandly directed. It's just not a good movie. Is Lucas going to accuse everyone of being racist for not liking it?




See it's comments like this that really piss me off.

So Blade isn't a black-action film.

Neither is Bad Boys or Bad Boys II.

Or Shaft for that matter?

I suppose Beverly Hills Cop won't count because it's got white people in it.

What about Glory?

Or how about the Tuskegee Airmen which was critically acclaimed and is heralded as better than Red Tails even though their based on the same story and the former is a TV mini-series while the latter is a theatrical film?

I could of course go on and on. But why bother, the point has been made. Lucas cries out racism even though, let's face it, the studio's probably passed on his movie because it sucks. That and Lucas comes with baggage. He's been attacked for many years over the quality of the Prequel Trilogy and his continued tweaks of the Original Trilogy. The Studio's know this, they've watched it. They know he's a controversial guy. If I were a Studio head I'd pass on Red Tails too. It's just smart business. Plus he's so obviously out-of-touch.

Here's a multi-billionaire whining about having to pay for his own movie, also, eff you Oprah for just going along with this bullshit, be a journalist for once in your life:


 

Although, here's where we have to sort of make a decision here. The question is (and has always been), does Lucas really believe his bullshit or is he just simply covering his own ass.

The whole, "the studios didn't know how to market it and that's why they passed on it" has been repeated enough times for it to remind me of the whole, "Star Wars is for little kids" comments that he makes in order to defend the childishness of the Prequel Trilogy on a whole but mostly Episode I. These comments are obviously shields. He uses them all the time and they're defensive in nature. So...does he really believe this or is this his ego taking over and trying to defend things that really can't be defended? Are these statements made so that he doesn't have to admit to making any mistakes?

I'll leave that up to you, the reader. But personally, I believe these sayings are nothing more than shields. He knows he's fucked up many times...sure it's deep down there, but he doesn't really believe these things he says. He says them to cover his ass, save his reputation, save his movies, and make validations to himself that he's still everything that he thinks he is, i.e. a good filmmaker and an artist - which he most certainly ISN'T. At least, not anymore. But deep down, he knows what's up. Most men do. Even the most powerful have to go to sleep in the dark and that's when our doubts, fears, and anxieties creep in. That's when we have to face the demons and admit to our own failures and wrongdoings.


Friday, February 24, 2012

A lament to Episode I


While I don't agree that the following video contains the best possible outline for Episode I, it IS the best possible outline for the movie that Lucas was determined to make. Meaning, the whole script wouldn't have to be thrown out (like I would have done had I been in charge), only adjustments would have needed to be made.

Good stuff though. Definitely worth a watch. Now I'm going to go cry as a I grieve about what COULD have been.




Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Maybe a real Batman is possible?


For a long time I've felt that a real-life Batman simply wouldn't and couldn't be taken seriously (or else I'd be doing it). However, this video makes me re-think a few things. There is some general/genuine fear, shock, and awe going down. If this were coupled with a Batman who knew martial arts and had some high-tech gizmos...well, who knows. It might actually work.



Safe House review





I'm going to try NOT and hype up Safe House as much as I want to.

Suffice it to say that the bar is now set for 2012 best movie of the year. Of course, eventually Safe House will be beat by many. But it's important to take notice that within a Hollywood "dump month", Safe House is a jewel that should be seen.

I think part of my love for it stems from the fact that we haven't had a decent action slash suspense-thriller in years. But this movie takes the cake.

Ryan Reynolds is a CIA operative working in a South African safe house which can be used for everything from interrogation to holding and even simply as a hide-out if things have gotten to hot for an active agent. Reynolds wants more action and has been cooling his heels waiting for the day where he can shine. He's basically a step-up from an analyst. The day comes around when a rogue agent (played by Denzel - yes he's a one-name man if you think about it) is brought in and all Hell breaks loose. Reynolds has to decide who to trust, why, where, and when to trust them all in the heat of them moment in a film that spans two-three days.

I've read negative reviews from this flick and I flat-out disagree with all of the complaints I've heard. Everything from Washington phoning it in as a Training Day re-hash to Reynolds being miscast.

I firmly and disrespectively DISAGREE.





Is the film fairly predictable? Yes, I think so. But I'm not everyone. I think the average movie-goer won't be able to figure everything out and even if they do, who cares?

This is an enjoyable film. It has great performances, great action set-pieces, and phenomenal fight sequences. Some of the fist fights are reminiscent of the Bourne movies, but they are more realistic. Meaning that while there is some shaky-cam stuff, I feel like THIS shaky-cam work isn't used by an incompetent "artist" trying to prove something (yes I just called out Paul Greengrass) but more from a very interesting visual auteur who is both showing you the fight while trying to take you into it at a very realistic level while keeping it palatable.

I thought the fighting was BRILLIANT. Not only from a camera-angle aspect but even the moves that were used were more realistic and interesting than anything I ever saw in the Bourne movies. A perfect example would be that Ryan Reynolds is a TALL man and multiple times within the movie you will see him use his height as an advantage against an adversary. Whether he falls forward and puts his weight down on an opponent in a small hallway while kneeing the guy in his stomach or leans back and uses his long legs at close range to shove someone away from him, you can tell that these fights were very smartly choreographed.

But I don't want to keep comparing this movie to the Bourne movies. Only because Safe House should stand on it's own. It's very well directed, very smart, interesting, and FUN.

It also has an element of a buddy-cop movie without the grand sense of humor. It's like a new, twisted version of Lethal Weapon that's about spies.

Possibly the best straight-up action movie I've seen in a decade. 



8 / 10

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Your Teen Wolf Zen moment of the day:


You wanna talk about cheese? Teen Wolf is IT. But it's also awesome. It's just one of those rare movies that works because of the time it was made in. Only at that moment could that movie ever gone on to be successful and considered a classic. But you wanna talk about victory and that feeling of utter win over all those that said you would fail, how about the end of Teen Wolf?



Movies you should know


Today's movies that you should know are two that have been on my mind lately...don't know why. My mind is an extremely random place. One is from the 90's and is a horror comedy while the other is an action-adventure flick from the 80's...both lost to obscurity. Shall we begin?



The Frighteners




This is one of those movies that Hollywoodland clearly had NO idea what to do with. Yet it has only gotten better with age.

Directed by Peter Jackson before he found RING power and produced by Robert Zemeckis before he found the Anti-Christ created mo-cap method, this is a horror movie slash extremely black comedy with a still in top form Michael J. Fox.

Fox plays Frank Bannister a man who can see spirits and uses it to his advantage. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. The reality is that Frank was a once budding architect who has been utterly wrecked by a tragedy that occurred in his past and that has altered his perception quite literally. He starts seeing a Grim Reaper-like figure that is killing people and has been for quite some time. But things aren't always as fantastic as they seem. Turns out, this town has some demons in it's closet and one of them is a serial killer. Without giving anything away, let's just say that things aren't what they appear and everything is connected.

It's a different sort of movie. Part fun, part serious, part kooky, and part oft-humor, it's an entertaining roller coaster ride of genre's, notions, and emotions. From any one moment you could laugh and then shriek or even groan in sadness when something bad happens. At one point you could write Frank off as a hack but then you'll see him risk life and limb for someone he barely knows and therefore can't help but root for the guy.

From any angle, you could totally tell that this was a hard movie to sell. But like so many good movies that are tough sells, this one was marketed POORLY. So while more people should have seen it and be aware of it, it pretty much tanked at the box office and was mostly forgotten. Apparently the studio loved the movie...that's great, but when you advertise your movie like this:

You do no one any favors.







Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins


I'm not going to post the trailer for Remo Williams because it frankly doesn't do it justice. Instead I'm going to opt to play one of the major things that makes this movie so amazing, and that's the score:




You have to go to about 55 seconds in to get to the coolness.

Oh all right, here's the trailer. But it won't really do you any favors...you'll have to read my pseudo-review after that in order to properly understand:




So Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is a story about a cop and ex-war veteran who is violently recruited (unwillingly) by such a top-secret Government unit that is so secret less than a handful of people know about it, allowing them to operate with such impunity and secrecy to make them nearly untouchable. They give him the alias Remo Williams and even go so far as having his face reconstructed via plastic surgery. He is then handed over to a Yoda-like martial arts expert (named Chiun) who will instruct him in how to become the perfect assassin. 

The movie is based on the Destroyer series of novels that I have never read so I can't comment on (although I do intend to read at least one of them someday). It was set-up to be franchise (hence the Adventure Begins subtitle) but didn't do to well at the box-office. Yet someone upstairs still wanted the story to go somewhere so a Pilot for a TV show was made but again, never went anywhere.

It's a damn shame the movie never got a sequel because it's damn entertaining. It's pulpy and FUN. The character of Remo is a total everyday dude that just wants to kick back with a beer and watch football. However, he's paired with Chiun (played by Joel Grey who earned a Golden Globe Nom for this role) who is of the utmost disciplined nature and a total ball buster. Their unique relationship which goes from reluctant trainee and dissatisfied teacher to an almost father and son bond is equally hilarious as it is enjoyable to watch. The characters are really what make this movie stand-out from the normal 80's action-flick we are used to. 

That AND the awesome score and set-pieces. 


 

Geek websites you should traffic Part TRES!


If you've traversed my site long enough and thoroughly enough you should know by now that my geekiness knows no bounds and I have yet to defile myself.

First up is the Yetee.

















This is a custom T-Shirt design site that highlights a new and different geeky design each day...and at good prices. They have a regular stream of artists that are designing these highly intelligent and creatively cool and inevitably different T-Shirts. If nothing else, I check out this site on a daily basis just to get a kick out of something cool. Although sometimes I definitely buy.


The Yetee




Next up is Newegg.













ANYTHING electronic you need or want should be at least shopped for good prices here. It's that simple and definitive. Always gotten a good price here and never had a problem with a single product purchased here...and yes, I'm knocking on wood very hard right now.


Newegg




Finally, our last entry today is UGO.






















This site is sort of a perfect blend between Topless Robot and Joblo. Both sites I've covered before in this feature article series. It contains everything from news to interesting polls and articles written about everything from current movies and video games to geek pop culture and past geek history. It's a vast site, so I highly recommend diving in. However, I will say it is lacking as far as the quality of writing being done on the site. Still, that is a small hindrance in this reporter's eyes.

UGO...no, YOU GO!

TV show graveyard: Quantum Leap



Too many great shows are cancelled. Too many great shows get too small an amount of seasons. Too many great shows are forgotten when they should be remembered for all-time.

Quantum Leap falls into all of these categories. Although with the caveat that it is probably better remembered than some other great shows that were cancelled before their time. Furthermore, at least Quantum Leap had the grace to go out with some semblance of closure. Sure, there was a window left open in case the show got renewed in the last second, but the series finale' works, even if it is a bit of a puzzler.

If you've never seen an episode, the premise is this:




If you're still a little confused. It's simple, scientist builds time travel machine, tests it on himself. He disappears, "leaping" into other people's lives. But what really happens is that Sam takes the place of someone while they go to the future where Sam lives. The show explains more as it goes on, but that's the basic gist.

The key to understanding and loving this show is in getting to know Sam Beckett as played by the great Scott Bakula. Sam is an All-American NICE Guy. He's honest, loyal, smart, genuine, sweet, and respectful. If they had made Captain America back in the day, Scott Bakula could have played Sam as Cap and made it work...oh wait, they DID make Captain America back in the day...


Ugh...horrible movie.


Okaaaay, now that the horrible flashback is over...as I was saying.

Sam Beckett is a GOOD man. He is always trying to do the absolute right thing even if this puts him in terrible danger. When the show first began and Sam first "leaped" it did something to his brain that was sort of like amnesia. He could remember a vast majority of the things he knew, but much of his memory was gone. Comparing it to swiss cheese, Dr. Beckett was still a highly intelligent scientist with a powerful moral compass but also a man who was well versed in multiple fields and even knew some form of martial arts (which proved an asset multiple times within the show). He was a true renaissance man that was almost perfect for the task at hand, almost as though he had been chosen for the task at hand...which became another fundamental part of the show:

GOD.

Multiple times it's stated that when Sam first "leaped" it seemed like someone or something took over control of the technology that sent him back and affected the programming of the artificial intelligence that was supposed to monitor the quantum accelerator (AKA Ziggy). This is also why Sam can't control where he is going and can't seem to get back to his own time. As the show progresses and Sam keeps "leaping" into moments where things have gone horribly wrong and continues to fix things for the better, Sam and Al begin to believe that God has taken control of the program and is using it AND Sam to make corrections for the betterment of mankind. Indeed, some individuals such as children, animals, and the simple can see Sam for who he really is and there is almost always an angelic reference afterwards. This makes the case that the show is sort of about revealing that guardian angels are nothing more than time travelers sent by God to help people in need.

Personally, I of course respond very well to the good versus evil logic of the show and that a higher power is involved with Sam's leaping. I think it's dynamic, profound, and awe-inspiring. But my love for the show goes deeper than that. I love Dr. Sam Beckett, he's a truly amazing guy. A hero, self-sacrificing in every way and so stubborn towards doing the right thing - almost to a fault. And the friendship that Sam and Al forge through the series course is fun, tragic, and awesome all at once.

The show was damn amazing and died before it's time lasting only five seasons. But then again, some great shows don't even get that. It has the distinction of having one of the most beautifully-tragic and yet perfect finales to a show that I've ever seen. But I won't spoil that here. Watch it on Hulu, or better yet, buy the first season on DVD and see what you think.

The show is also the reason why you'll hear me say, "Oh boy!" at least twice a day.






Monday, February 13, 2012

Defending: Ghostbusters II



Over the years, and with the recent increase of news on the supposedly upcoming Ghostbusters 3, I've heard nothing from fan's and movie sites BUT resentment over Ghostbusters II.

I ask why?

Seriously, what's wrong with Ghostbusters II.

On many levels, I enjoy it MORE than the first. I sincerely believe that the hatred that get's strewn across the face of awesomeness that is this flick comes solely from the coolness that IS Bill Murray.

Murray was and is still famously unhappy with the sequel. So much so that it is the only sequel (besides the second Garfield film) that he has ever done. But then again, this is coming from a man who voiced the Garfield sequel.

I've always been curious why Murray or anyone for that matter doesn't like Ghostbusters II. In many ways it's funnier, and more entertaining. I also believe it's vastly more quotable which is saying something since the original Ghostbusters is EXTREMELY quotable.

Personally I believe that Bill started a fire with minor complaints. He obviously had his own issues with the movie. Since most of us love Murray and respect the man, we listen to what he has to say. Therefore, I believe that his influence is large and that since most people are sheep, we've allowed a cool man's opinion of something to taint our view of it on a whole. The guy has a problem with something...BOOM...so does the rest of the world. But in reality, what is there to have a problem with?



The movie starts with our heroes being somewhat detached from one another and screwed over deeply after the events of the first film. It's a dark start for our heroes. But they pull through. They've gone on to do other things and survive in different lifestyles and careers. A new villain rises, one who is equal parts insane, a joke, and powerful. This of course makes for a great Ghostbusters story that see's the boys getting back into the job and facing a very real threat while being able to have a laugh at it.

I've tried to view Ghostbusters II many times through the view of an unbiased lens. I've always come out the same way: It's a good movie. It's different enough from the first to be taken seriously, and in fact, it's darker than the original while keeping the characterizations the same and adding new faces that are just as enjoyable and funny as the peeps we met, know, and love from the first movie.

In Vigo the Carpathian, we meet a villain that is both omnipotent and yet human. He is a caricature of his time and of our own view of old world Europe. He has power but is still vulnerable. He's a great foil for the Ghostbusters because while he is completely irrelevant to this world and a total joke for us, he WANTS to come and live in OUR world.  He's also a great riff on Dracula. Or should I say the historical Dracula, Vlad Tempes, or Vlad the Impaler. Or as Vigo the Butch...Again, only making this movie that more awesome.



And then of course there is the message of hope and positivity versus evil and negativity that is expressed through the usage of slime and the Statue of Liberty.

Vigo is taking all of the negative emotions in New York City and turning it into psychokinetic slime/sludge (this meaning that the material that is created out of the psycho-emanations from the average human being can be used by Vigo to physically manipulate the world and enviornment as he sees fit) that enables him to do all sorts of misdeeds from building impenetrable shells over museums to lashing out at people through plumbing systems.

The Ghostbusters learn to counteract this by using positivity to change the energy of the slime (or psycho-emanations) and propel it towards a good purpose.



Seriously, what's wrong with this film? Because I don't see any problems.

I see a continuation of the first film. A story that about the power of friendship and the humor of the natural world coupled with the supernatural. I see a story about friends coming together to face evil with nothing more than wits, will, humor, and heart. Positivity versus negativity.

Ghostbusters II embraces this and more.

It should be defended.

"Oh, Johnny did you back the wrong horse."

"Do you know who dis is? Is Vigo!!! You are all like the buzzing of flies to 'im!"

"Only a CARPATHIAN would come back to life NOW and choose New York!"

"If you had BRAIN ONE one that HUGE MELON of top of your neck..."

These are all examples of quotes that I seriously use on a weekly basis. True, most people don't get them, but then again, most people don't get my obscure movie quotes.




Disney's best reminder?





So sentimental, yet profoundly encouraging and enjoyable. Makes you remember why Disney is, well...Disney.

Chronicle review





Chronicle was marketed all wrong. This should come as no surprise. Most movies ARE marketed wrong, and even going back to my last review of the Grey I touched on various problems with marketing a movie that think's outside the box.

THIS movie was advertised as three douche bag teenagers gain superpowers and abuse their power. Hell, even the image above shows this statement to be true.

The truth is that this might be one of the best superhero movies EVER made. It's a story that equally tells the rise of a villain as it does the rise of a hero. It's a superhero/supervillain origin story. One that we haven't heard, and one that is very interesting.

The premise is fairly simple. Three High School kids find something alien underground, something happens and they are affected by it. They each gain the power of telekinesis (the ability to move matter with the mind) and as they become friends through their ordeal, they start to bond, learn from each other, and split apart all at the same time in ways that are both reflective of any teenage relationship and of those going through changes, especially through the lens of introduced power development.




The flick is great. And it is superbly well made. It amazes me how small of a budget this movie used. The special effects range from good to astounding and are used in such a prolific manner that it staggers you to think that big-budget movies are being made that are utter SHIT with just AS good if not WORSE special effects. Where is the money going? Again, it only helps to show how horrible at business the so-called studio-heads (self-proclaimed businessmen and women, I suppose) are at BUSINESS.

Sure, it's a "found-footage" flick, but there's a gimmick that they use to get around the shaky-cam. First off, the kid filming everything takes the footage extremely seriously, so when he's behind camera it isn't shaky at all. Once he gains powers, we find that he is the strongest of the three and he begins to levitate the camera around. This makes it easier for him to become part of the action, but also it makes the camera extremely more stable and fluid.

Here we come to the ONLY problem I can find with Chronicle. Why was it made as a found-footage film?

Seriously, this movie could have been twice as good if it hadn't relied on a gimmick that was old years ago. The finale' and action conflict really suffers from this style the most. They try to find interesting ways to show the fight sequence (i.e. traffic cameras, helicopter cameras, cell phone cameras, and even bank cameras), and while that's fascinating and awesome, the interest and focus should be on the characters and battle itself...this is why shooting the movie normally would've been so much better for the overall story.




Truly, Chronicle should've just been a stand-up superhero flick without the gimmick. Other than that, it was awesome.

This is coming from someone who wasn't even going to see the flick.



8 / 10

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Smallville Zen moment of the day:


What can I say? We NEED more Superman in the world. Smallville was the best we had for a long time, and there were some great effing moments in that show. So without further adieu:



AND here is my emo self posting something I probably shouldn't, but I just love the progression that Lois and Clark take throughout the series:


Defense of the Death of Superman


I feel like I have to continue to post a defense towards the greatness that was the Death of Superman storyline.

This was an epic battle. A ferocious fight of titans that cost lives and forced heroes to make sacrifices. You can belittle the saga as much as you would like, but images speak louder than words:


Even here you can see Superman's iron will...he's got help that is hurting him as well, yet he's still ready to go the distance!

And MORE help that's only hurting...



This was a big affront to Superman's efforts throughout his fight with Doomsday...people kept trying to help but only ended up hurting Superman and those who stood in Doomsday's path.


Jimmy's never seen the Big Guy so fired up!

Superman is HURT! Still ready to sacrifice!
Ready to die...

Who is lucky enough to die in their loved one's arms?

BOOM

This is in no way an accurate depiction of the way things went down...it is but a taste. I hope it is a taste that serves to tell you a better, deeper story than the one Max Landis sold you. The truth is that the Death of Superman, the Reign of the Supermen, and the Return of Superman was a saga that was full of depth and emotion. The good FAR outweighed the bad. Sure there was some insanity and craziness, but overall, it was good storytelling. His own rules break the rules. If there are no rules, than there are no rules, thus no criticism.

Boom.




HAD to throw in Smallville's early version of Clark versus Doomsday...HAD TO.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Superman's Death a take by Max Landis




This video comes from an apparently somewhat drunken Max Landis (writer of Chronicle and son to the great John Landis). I found it to be hilarious and completely insane.

However I did take issue with a few things that might be nit-picky but are fundamentally wrong. Couldn't let it lie...

If you watch the video you'll see my points go in chronological order...yes, I'm THAT anal.


1. People DO care about Superman because he's awesome. He's a metaphorical God in the same vein of Hercules and people have still cared for CENTURIES about Hercules. He's relatable because he's the best of what we want to be. Take away all the powers, he's a GOOD man. He's a mirror of humanity for what we could, should, and want to be.

2. I disagree that his powers are that basic. Rogue did NOT have invincibility...at least not in the way that Superman does. She was strong...but they just didn't have the same powers. Superman's powers are unique in the sense that I would argue that no one wants to directly copy them because they'd be called out for it. The only person that comes close is the Gladiator from Marvel Comics...NOT Rogue.

3. Powergirl was not on the Justice League team that confronted Doomsday.

4. Booster Gold didn't hit outer space, he was still in our atmosphere when Superman caught him.

5. Superman didn't leave Doomsday deep within the lake thinking the fight was over. Doomsday was wreaking havoc left and right. So part of the interest of the fight was that while Superman was trying to put Doomsday down and continue to protect innocents, he was also constantly trying to put out fires. He put Doomsday deep into the soft-bed of the lake hoping it would slow him down for even a few minutes.

6. MAXIMA fought Doomsday with the Guardian and Superman...I don't know who TITANIA is or anything about a bone being put through her nose. MAXIMA got blown up (survived), but didn't get a bone through her nose.

7. Superman's frat-boy mentality: Superman had constantly thrown everything at Doomsday during the course of their epic fight. He used speed, flight, heat vision, everything he had at this creature from the get-go. Anything he could use as an advantage. Clark Kent TRIED. It didn't work. NOTHING worked. It came down to a straight brawl because that was the only thing to stop Doomsday's indomitable power. Of his strongest powers, Superman's strength is obviously his most powerful tool. It came down to that. Who could hit the hardest and stay up longest. Because he tried to fly Doomsday into space only to get his ass kicked for trying. Superman tried everything. It came down to the fight happening so fast and people getting hurt so easily, Superman was forced to be as brutal as his opponent and just simply rely on his fists and his ability to take a punch.

8. I LOVED the Superboy segment...not a nitpick...just loved it.

9. Steel was NOT overweight.

10. Superman wasn't in any kind of space coma...he simply had used all of his energy reserves. Superman get's his energy from the sun... he can eat anything he wants and never gain a pound because food doesn't effect him. After his fight with Doomsday, if they had just left him out in the sun he'd have been up in a day or two. He was simply depleted. Very nitpicky.


ALL of this being said, Max is right in the end. Superman's death wasn't about killing Superman...it inevitably killed DEATH. It allowed too many characters to come back to life. DC Comics has used this as a crutch ever since. To unsurprising and excessively depressing effect.

SAVE Community!!!




Donald Glover AKA Troy on Community makes this telling and impassioned speech about saving Community.

I love how he says what we're all thinking, "Community is on a hiatus - whatever that means."

I don't want Community to be cancelled...but at this point, anything is better than purgatory. I ask you now, to consider watching some Community clips and then contacting:


Save Community Petition

Write an Email to NBC

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I BLAME YOU IF THEY CANCEL COMMUNITY!









I realize that was an exorbitant amount of videos for one post, but I believe you can handle it...Save Community, ya'll.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Grey review




Oh, The Grey...I feel like I will have to defend you for the next ten-twenty years of my life. At least that's how long I'm expecting it will take for all the fucking mouth breather's to grow up and mature to the point where they can establish that either:

1. They watched a movie that they can't understand (which is sad, btw).

OR,

2. They forget about their idiotic problems with it.

To be fair, the Grey was NOT advertised properly. It was shown to be a Man versus Nature/Gigantic Wolf Pack action flick that it really is not.

Instead, it's an almost arthouse-style film that deals more heavily with Man versus God and Faith while the Elements take their toll. There are constant questions about God, faith, and fate that are relevant to our every day existence but put into such a scope that the issues at hand become all the more important because time is short. One way or another, these men know that Death is coming...unless they fight...and even then, there are NO guarantees. The men in this movie are not just being stalked by wolves and the cold, but by time, carelessness, insecurity, a lifetime of regret, and ultimately...fear. There is such a perseverance of depth within this movie that it astounds me it actually found financing.

No wonder it was sold as an action movie, because if the advertising executives had been honest, they probably could not have sold this movie as successfully as they have.

I'm going to say practically nothing about the story because this is one of those movies that has very little plot and is more about the characters, their relationships, and the subtleties that lie within the situation and how that makes everyone feel and ultimately what they do about it and/or how they handle it.



It's this simple...go in to this movie expecting Liam Neeson to Taken-like kill the shit out of some wolves...you will be disappointed.

Rather, go into this movie with an open-mind. Prepare to learn something about the nature of Men and realize that this is a well-crafted story with very good actor's telling a tale about survival and more importantly the question of why to continue trying to survive when all life keeps handing you is lemons.

Do you fight for every second for what's after this life? IS there anything after this life? If there's something better, why fight so hard? And most importantly, WHY do WE FIGHT?

Liam Neeson has my vote for a 2012 Best Actor nom...which OF COURSE he won't get.

 
8 / 10

Your Rocky Zen moment of the day:


Rocky Balboa get's a lot of shit...

And I don't mean in the sense that the character gets roughed up so much. I mean, the final Rocky movie get's some crap...and I don't think it should. For me, all the Rocky movies are good and have something to say. Rocky Balboa was a GREAT flick regardless of what came before it. As the final chapter I really feel like it served as a great epilogue or concluding chapter to the series. I haven't shown it enough love lately because I've been SAVING it.