Marry Me: Felicia Day

If you don't know who Felicia Day is, shame on you...and while you're at it, check if your geek membership is still active. Because you should know who this adorable, brilliant, and sexy woman is. As we all should know the sum of who we are as human beings can't really fit into a series of titles. So in light of that, I will now define Ms. Day by her titles (hey, at least then you can start to get a handle on who she is) of actress, writer and producer and from interviews and such, you can see very clearly that she's a witty, intelligent, funny, and very open person. She's worked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, starred in the genius Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along (which is something you should absolutely have seen if you haven't), and created the amazing web series, the Guild.


The Guild get's it's own paragraph. BOOM. It's a series that explores the rather different lives of the members of an online guild for an MMORPG. So basically it's a show about gamers playing WOW. Or insert whatever MMORPG you can relate to. See, Felicia can get away with making a show like the Guild because she IS a gamer, along with being extremely talented and sweet, well spoken and very, very cute. And yes, I can refer to her in the first person, I'm proposing marriage here after all. Needless to say the Guild is a very funny show and I'm proud to say I've been watching it since the beginning...thanks, Tom.

It's one of those rare shows that just get's better as it goes on. Like Community, which they may cancel because you're not watching, but we'll get to that at another time...just know I blame YOU.

Now...full disclosure. I actually vividly remember Day from the final (televised) season of Buffy. Even then she made an impression. But it wasn't the best impression...yet I didn't really blame her for that. While her character didn't exactly slay me (get it?), she still caught my attention. Let me 'splain...no, there's too much. Let me sum up. During the final season of Buffy there were a lot of new girls that were introduced who were potential Slayers. Meaning that if Buffy were to die any one of them could be activated and have the full power of a Slayer. These characters ranged from slightly annoying to obnoxious. However, I always felt that was probably because everyone watching knew it was the final season of Buffy and in a final season any new character that takes time away from people I know and love start to piss me off. This actually kind of goes for any new characters for that matter. It's always a risk. Dawn took forever to grow on me, and Tara never did. Spike was always the man though. 

There are some guys out there I know that think Day's nerdiness is just an act...well, those guys can eat it. Olivia Munn's nerdiness is an act. Felicia is the real deal. Need more proof?

She's recently released another web series she created, working in-line with EA called: Dragon Age: Redemption which ties into the game Dragon Age II. Here she is playing her own character...or should I say attempting to, haha:

You know what I love about that video? Besides the obvious? The chairs. They look like old theater seats that have been mounted to makeshift pedestals on rollers. That is effing awesome...I'm totally doing that for my living room.

Anyway, as you can see this woman is appropriately geeky enough for me to marry, and she's a redhead! Anyone that knows me knows I got a thang for the redheads! Plus she probably lives in L.A. and that's not that far so I can actually see myself making a go at this. Might take some time and effort, but I'm kind of the stubborn dig my heels in type so I think I can make this happen...someday?

Hell, I'd even settle for a first date.

Longshot? Probably. But a guy can dream, can't he?

And here is the first part of the epic Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog...this is by the MAN himself, Joss Whedon, so take notice and check it out (and ladies, it's a musical)!

Christmas Time: Best Christmas movies that aren't Christmas movies

The Christmas season is yet again upon us. Hell, it's here. I LOVE Christmas so you can count that I'll be doing my damnedest to get you into the spirit of things with a little humor, a little education, and a little heart. And maybe a little vulgarity...but I think that comes standard when you're in the Cave.

So without further adieu comes our first Christmas themed article of the year. The best Christmas movies that aren't Christmas movies!

Well, what does this mean, you ask? Go ahead, ask...I'll wait.

Over the years there have been plenty of movies that place their setting in, on, or during Christmas. Most of these movies ARE Christmas movies. Meaning that they're ABOUT Christmas.

But some aren't...and yet some are but aren't. This is a list about those movies. This list is about five movies that I absolutely consider Christmas movies but aren't solely Christmas movies. Can I plug the word Christmas or what (it's because I refuse to say Happy Holidays - typing it isn't the same as saying it)? All of the following movies I make a point to watch during the month of December because the sense of Christmas is wrapped up so tightly within the plot that you can practically feel the Christmas Spirit dripping off the DVD. You'll soon see what I mean. The only rule about this list is that I decided it wasn't about the quality of the movie overall (even though that had to have a factor) but about how much Christmas is crammed into the darn thing. I had to be able to think of the movie and think Christmas.

And no, the Nightmare Before Christmas is NOT on this list...what can I say, I've watched it a few times and I'm not a fan.




5. Batman Returns

This movie oozes Christmas. From the color palette that was chosen for the film to the constant snowy conditions to even the beginning of the movie where a bunch of circus freaks explode out of a giant present only to attack the Gothamites in the square that are there to celebrate the giant Christmas tree lighting! Hell, the lighting of said tree is a major plot point in the film. Christmas is referenced multiple times, presents are bought for different characters, and there's even a romantic fireside date that takes place between Bruce and Selina (Batman and Catwoman for the uninitiated). There's also a very adult touch of the loneliness that the holidays can bring to people as a theme for both Bruce and Selina who have no families and/or significant others to spend them with. Even the score sometimes sounds like it could be for a Christmas movie, albeit a CREEPY Christmas movie. One almost has to question why this flick was released in June when it so clearly could and should have been released in December or even during the Thanksgiving weekend of that year. Eh, chock it up as typical Warner Bros. doing the best job they can to lose their job's.





4. Gremlins

First off, if you've never seen the original Gremlins, please do so. Great flick. Another prime example of how the 80's didn't talk down to an entire generation. I mean, it's basically a family themed comedy-horror movie with some really adult sequences, dialogue, and moments of true tension. Highly recommend this.

As a Christmas movie, well if you watched the above clip you can see how much Christmas is involved with the movie and the storyline. Even the song in that video opens up the actual movie. Gizmo is a Christmas gift from father to son! I repeat, the Mogwai who spawns an entire population of Gremlins is a Christmas present! Hence, Gremlins is a Christmas movie, like it or not. Also, it contains the worst Christmas story ever told:

3. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

It's unfortunate that the above trailer really gives you nothing to work with when thinking about Kiss Kiss Bang Bang as a Christmas movie. But it is, it really is. Why? Because we've now entered into the world of Shane Black. The above was his first directorial effort but one of many great movies he's written and at least FOUR of these movies (all action flicks) take place during Christmas. One more of his movie's is on this list, in fact. But you'll have to wait to find out which one it is - or you could just scroll down like you already started to...damn you. Anyhoo...Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a brilliant movie just as is. But I can't even think about it without thinking Christmas. There is so much Christmas imagery and music in the movie that it's become a symbiotic relationship, great movie = Christmas. Check it out, you won't be sorry.





2. Die Hard

Ah, Die Hard...the best action movie ever made. Also a Christmas movie. Not one second is the viewer NOT aware that the events of the flick are taking place on Christmas Eve. If it weren't for the first movie on this list, I think Die Hard would've been the action flick that so solidified the idea of bullets, bumps and bruises, and blood as a natural, positive part of the holiday season! I feel bad about myself if I miss out on watching Die Hard during the month of December. Sure, I watch it plenty of times during the rest of the year, but it's just not the same! In fact, most non-Christmas movie lists list Die Hard as number one. But I'm sorry, there is another movie that takes the cake for me.




 1. Lethal Weapon

Again we have a trailer that doesn't really do the Christmas theme justice. But I trust that most of you have seen the original Lethal Weapon (and if you haven't, do not speak to me until you do). This movie is injected with so much Christmas material it's insane. Obviously the flick takes place during Christmas, but you've got Christmas music all over the place (including the opening), Christmas decorations galore, characters giving gifts to each other, referencing Christmas multiple times, and there is even a clip from A Christmas Carol at the very end that get's machine gunned to death. The movie ends with Murtaugh fixing one of the Christmas light bulbs around his house for Heavens sakes! Like all of the movies on this list I can't even think about Lethal Weapon without thinking of Christmas. The sequel, Lethal Weapon might actually be the best in the series (IMO), if it weren't for the fact that the original also has the Christmas Spirit working for it, which Lethal Weapon 2 sadly, does not. In so many ways you can see this movie as an adrenaline-fueled Christmas adventure where Riggs and Murtaugh are giving drug dealers the gift of justice! What's not to love about that?

What day is it Gary Busey?

Douchebags and hot girls

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Lamenting Heroes...

The first season of Heroes is one of the best seasons of television ever produced...FACT.

After that, the show went on a heavily decline. I'm actually proud to say that I bowed out before it was CANCELLED...but that's only an indication of how bad the show got.

So what went wrong?

I could write a long diatribe (practically a novel) as to what I feel were the weaknesses of the show and where and how the writer's took the series in a totally wrong and needless direction.

But I won't. I'll try and keep it short and sour? Because I can't say it will be sweet.

Obviously, the video above is not pulled directly from the show...but it's a lot of fun.

I've been re-watching the show on DVD and it's the only season of Heroes I will ever own. And that's the tragic, miserable part for me. I only love this show more and more...but nothing more will ever come from it. All the possibilities and chances are gone. What could have been!? ARGH.

For the uninitiated, the show centered on a variety of different people from all over the planet (mostly the States). Most of these people had special abilities. I.E. Time travel, teleportation, flight, healing, etc. The vague notion of how these characters had these powers was basically evolution. It was kind of an X-Men riff, where this was the next generation of humanity, born with certain gifts that would eventually become a staple within our own species.

AT THE END OF THE DAY it didn't really matter how or why everyone had their powers. What mattered was that we had a great cast with interesting characters. As the season progressed it was shown that all of these people were very intricately connected in ways that even the viewer couldn't possibly imagine. By the time we realize just how everything is going to tie in together the writer's have already made us love these folks and their various drama's and stories. 

If that's not enough, I'll tell you that the basic arc of the first season had all of the characters coming to terms with their own various powers and having to combat a looming threat (that's actually shown in the FIRST episode - the destruction of Manhattan) of world annihilation along with a massively powerful serial killer named Sylar who could collect super powers by killing those he came into contact with (yes, I know there's more to that, but it was expanded upon in the subsequent seasons, which are dead to me).

And obviously the show had a huge following with the catchphrase: Save the Cheerleader, save the world. That whole plot point captured the attention of the media. It was brilliant. So simple, but yet so powerful.

So again, what went wrong?

Well without going into too many details, I'll just say that the failure of Heroes came from three main points.

1. The second season started a trend of introducing WAY too many new characters. Certain characters hadn't even had proper finishing details done for them after season one, so whoever thought it would be a good idea to bring in new people before everyone that we already liked had been fleshed out should've just been fired (yes, I know that was a run-on sentence). Not to mention, MOST of the new characters were annoying if only for the simple fact that they took attention AWAY from the characters we were already interested in.

That, and, well...they were ANNOYING. That's the first and last time I will reference the brother and sister from Central America.

Yet even then, the few characters that were introduced in later seasons that the audience actually liked were then thrown away...I'm looking at you Caitlin (Peter's romantic interest from season 2).


2. The killing of Isaac Mendez. Here was a dude that embraced his power. He WANTED to be hero. He was tragic, interesting, and inspiring. He was killed off to show that the series wasn't afraid to kill off people (wait for my next point)...yet, this was not a character that should have been killed off. He had too much potential. Sure he was a heroin addict, but he used the drug to paint the future so that he could save the world...if that doesn't make for conflicted TV, I don't know what will. His death wasn't even all that powerful. It was actually shown early on...we all just hoped that it could be changed (thanks to Hiro, the time traveling geek who ultimately failed).


3. The unwillingness to kill off Sylar. Don't get me wrong, Sylar was a GREAT villain. So is the Joker...but if you used the Joker ALL THE TIME, he would get old and stale. A great foil can only be used sparingly because the Heroes should be good enough that we don't always need the ultimate villain. The X-Men movie series suffers from this same problem with their overuse of Magneto. Magneto is an amazing bad guy, but he can't be amazing all the time.

Sylar at his best...in the shadows, ominous, unseen.

Sylar should have died at the end of the first season (and he sort of does). But in the following seasons he's overused to the point that you can tell that the writers didn't know what to do with him. He was bad, then he was good, then he was bad again, and so on and so forth. The idea that this character could ever be good after watching the first season (where he has a kind of Seven serial killer arc) is ludicrous. This happens a lot in TV. You see it all the time if you look closely. The writers and actors grow a fondness for one another and while the writer SHOULD kill the character off, the personal relationship that's happened on set has enabled the story to continue when it really should end.

Here he is killing one of the most adorable characters on the show...such a tragic case.

I mean this guy killed multiple people...INNOCENTS. Not just main characters on the show (which he did), but MANY characters with and without powers who were guilty of nothing...yet if you read up on the series finale, he ends up a hero...with Peter Petrelli  himself (kind of the yin to his yang...in the non-gay way) forgiving him for killing his brother!

Here he is killing Nathan, one of the main characters!

Torturing Claire!

For me, this is it. The fact that Sylar continued after season one is when the show Jumped the Shark. Everything else is just gravy.

All of that withstanding, I LOVE the first season of Heroes. I'm about a quarter of the way through it for the second time and it brings back all kinds of memories.

I almost didn't watch it.

It took my good friend, Tom to get me to check it out. I remember the first season was ending as I was gearing up for a backpacking trip through Europe. I met and got to know the woman of my dreams as I was finishing this series. I can fondly relate to the save the cheerleader thing because some of my best friends were once cheerleaders. I LOVE the relationship between Peter and Nathan Petrelli because it's a good look at the ups and downs of two brother's and their differences with bonds and unlikely connections...so while I loved it the first time around, the sense of nostalgia has only grown stronger as the years have gone on. 

If you've never watched Heroes, I suggest you give it a shot. I did, a few years ago...and while I'm sad it ultimately failed, I'm here watching that first season once again...that says a lot.

It's time to start the music...

I grew up in a truly great era. And Hell, even then I nearly missed it. If I'd been born just a few years earlier I could have even gotten a better taste of the awesomeness that was the 80's. Jim Henson was one of the big reasons that this time period was so awesome. The man tapped into something humongous. Something we were all missing. And he did it all with puppets. Or in this case, muppets.

It's hard to put into words. The Muppets just hit a part of the zeitgeist that could be explored forever. From Henson and the Muppets we got so many great things. Labyrinth, the Dark Crystal, most of Sesame Street as we know it, Yoda, Muppet Babies (OMG - AWESOME), and of course, the Muppet Show.

You remind me of the babe...also, I move the stars for no one...

For my part, I'm barely old enough to have fond memories of the Muppet Show, and even then it's only due to reruns that I have any memory of it whatsoever. Yet, some are still there and very powerful. It was like Saturday Night Live with the Muppets we all know and love. There was something magical to it. Seeing big celebrities interact with the Muppets was something special.

In passing, it seems so redundant and ridiculous. I mean, they're puppets after all.

But then I remember flicks like the Great Muppet Caper. This is kind of the Holy Grail of Muppet movies. They've had a string of successes since this flick, but this was the ONE. Magic + Quality = BOOM. It still holds up...I would argue even better than some of the more recent Muppet movies.

Alas, Jim Henson died WAY too early and so ridiculously unnecessarily. His passing was definitely felt. But the show had to go on, and the torch was passed and carried well. Muppet movies were still made and everything was right with the world.

Or was it?

The Muppets have been around still, but has their presence been felt?

Not really. Mostly because they've now been catered solely to children. So for the last decade, they've been mostly ignored by the generation that grew up with them and the adult generation that enjoyed them in their heyday. I'm as guilty of this as anyone. Sorry, couldn't care less about Muppet Treasure Island. There was no edge there. It was a kiddie flick. The Muppets shouldn't ever be a straight kiddie feature.

Ultimately, I think this speaks volumes to the way we treat children now and how we did a couple decades ago. Simply meaning that so many things that were okay in the 80's would never fly for today's standards. Could you imagine movies like the Goonies, Gremlins, or the Monster Squad being made today...OH. MY. GOD. Never would happen. Such is the same for the Muppets. At the end of the day, they were puppets, but they were puppets that could get away with some very high-brow adult humor without the kids ever noticing. However, there was always GINORMOUS heart wherever the Muppets went. Therefore, fun for the whole family.

Years pass, and age changes you. So it took Jason Segal's brilliant Forgetting Sarah Marshall for me to realize how much I missed the Muppets. The man blended something from my youth (Muppets) with something from my adulthood (heartache) to really remember that, DAMN, I missed the Muppets. Hollywood took notice of Segal's interest and eventually they gave him the chance to write a new movie for our long lost puppet friends.

I've been a fan of Jason Segal for a while now. Everything from How I Met Your Mother to even his enormous musical talent that has been showcased in movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek. The guy has got the goods and his love for the Muppets is obvious therefore I entirely trust that the Muppets movie that is coming out this Wednesday will be the best Muppet movie ever made. Yep. Seriously, if there ever was a man that could come along to make me believe in the Muppets again making them musically inclined with a sense of adult and kiddie humor in play while keying the notes of nostalgia, it's Jason effing Segal.

And this is the era we are living in now! An era where all the great things from the 80's are coming back. An era I wish Jim Henson could still be alive to see. We have a highly successful Transformers franchise. There's a great new Thundercats animated show on TV. Look at all the great superhero movies being made...that's thanks to the comics boom in the 80's and early 90's. Hell even Hollywood is trying to capitalize on our combined nostalgia by remaking every great movie from the 80's in sight. As we speak they are working on remakes of Lethal Weapon, Predator, and Robocop.

It's because the kids from the 80's are now adults and we are bringing back our love for the good old stuff from our youth into the mainstream. Hear us ROAR!

So with all this said, I am asking you to make room in your heart for the Muppets. Give this movie a chance. Let's get excited about it! Let's go out and see it and take our friends and have some fun! Let's get nostalgic and sentimental! Let's all be kid's again! Let's celebrate some Muppet DOMINATION.

Do we really want the month of November to be a wash to a goddamn Twilight movie?

The answer is: No we really don't. Let's get out there and see the Muppets. And SPREAD THE WORD!

I want to wear a fedora!!!

My love for Indiana Jones just continues unabated...let's just make peace with it. I love him, you have varying degrees of feeling on it, understandably. We can all move forward as friends.

Yet it should be noted that at any given moment I can dress up as Indy without a moment's hesitation.

The boots I have, well because I like various kinds of boots. Sue me.

The jacket I have because I asked for a specific kind of leather jacket when I was graduating HS and got something entirely different from what I asked (that's parents for you) yet looked a lot like an Indy jacket so it all worked out (they give you not what you want but what you need?).

The bag I have because I once worked on the end of a 1/3 of a mile long pier and needed something to carry my stuff...and well I liked the idea of having Indy's actual bag.

The pants I have because I worked at a place that required me to have khaki pants.

The shirt I went out of my way to buy because I wanted an Indiana Jones shirt.

The FEDORA....well I bought that because I wanted Indiana Jones hat. But more to the point, I like fedora's. I also like cowboy hats. But more than anything, I like fedora's. I want to wear them all the time.

But that's kind of socially unacceptable.

And that's what pisses me off...I want to wear fedora's goddammit, but I can't! Because I'm, "not supposed to".

They're so cool, though:  

 

There was a time when wearing these hats was just the norm.

I WANT THIS BACK.

Instead, the only time this comes back is when douchebags wear this as some sort of artsy fashion statement:

Ugh, that last picture really paints the picture I'm trying to make when I use the descriptive term of douchebag. Find him sexy NOW ladies?

Now it's a Catch 22. I want to wear a fedora all the time...but I'd more than likely look like a douchebag for doing so. True, I don't really care what people think of me, but there is a difference between stoking a fire and fanning the flame.

Hell, I'd like to carry a gun around but that's not sociably acceptable either.

I guess what I'm saying is, let's bring fedora's back! You hear me, gents!? Together we can do it! Let's take it back for the respect of mankind! I know we can...together!

Titanic returns...in 3D...

So apparently Titanic is coming back to theaters in April. It's going to get the post-conversion blah, blah, blah fancy-schmancy, high-tech upgrade - WHATEVER.

Before I watched the trailer tonight I had very mixed feelings about this. Just the tip of the iceberg thoughts (haha) that ran through my head were along the lines of: Obvious cash-grab, unnecessary re-release, and can the film hold up in theaters again?

I'll let you look at it now:

After watching the trailer I've grown less cynical. True, I hate 3D, but this is James Cameron 3D so I suspect it will actually be good.

This might be a moot point for me though because I DO love Titanic. It's a great flick and I haven't seen it in years so the chance to see on the big screen again seems too good a chance to pass.

I remember even in Elementary school being enthralled with the story of Titanic. But no history book ever gave out any details no matter how many indexes, glossaries, or bibliographies I searched. Titanic was the first story that really put you on the deck of that ship. I loved that. You experienced what it was probably like to be there on that fateful night. That's epic. Say what you want about the core-love story (I dig it, but I'm a hopeless romantic), it's still a great period piece.

So at first I was annoyed about this but I can firmly say that the idea is growing on me. So much so that I've decided that I'm going to do something drastic.

My best friend has never seen Titanic. He in fact, has made almost a point not to. So I've decided that I will visit him in April when the movie is released in order to insure that he sees the movie...in 3D no less.

It's at this point that I encourage you and everyone you know to not only berate him online about this (indeed, bully him) now but on a consistent basis.

If you're interested in joining us in Surprise, Arizona in April, let me know! Let's have some fun with this!


This is the Facebook EVENT Page!

Feel free to post on that and invite others.


This is Josh's Facebook Page!

Again feel free to post!

And BOOM goes the dynamite!

New Hunger Games trailer!

I will let this speak for itself to begin with:

AMAZING...

It's like they pulled the images out of my mind, man!

Seriously, read this book. It's so great I'm loathe to try and explain it's awesomeness to you.

Right off the bat this is what I love:

- Casting is pitch perfect.

- The white outfits of the Capitol Guards.

- Effie's Capitol accent.

- The hint of Katniss' "Girl on Fire" outfit.

- Peeta!

- The music...God I hope this is one of those rare cases where the trailer music is the movie music.

- Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.

- Woody Harrelson as Haymitch...albeit too brief exposure.

- The Capitol.

- The fact that relatively nothing is seen of the actual Games.

Ladies and gents, pay attention. This is my new THANG...sorry...THING.

READ THE BOOK!

Young Sherlock Holmes...

There are many crusades I have taken up in my life. Some of which are movie-oriented (but many still aren't - more to come on that subject).

Basically what this means is that I am always trying to get the uninitiated involved in a movie that should be beloved by all but isn't. More often than not, my crusade crosses boundaries. Meaning that the object of my affection can be traced back to some other media format such as a novel or a comic book. At this point I feel that there is almost no excuse that you haven't heard about it or witnessed it before. Thus a simple mission becomes a crusade. 

When it comes to my movie-crusade amalgamation there are a key top few that come to mind. But one most of all. Probably because it hits on all cylinders. It's a movie that should have been a massive success and an instant classic but yet never found the audience it deserves. The Princess Bride is a perfect example of a movie that should have been an immediate hit, but wasn't. However, thanks to time it has now been granted the prestige it should have had from the start. Yet some movies never get that second chance.

This is the story about one of them.

Imagine a movie directed by Barry Levinson. A man who has been behind the camera of such great flicks as the Natural, Rain Man, Good Morning Vietnam, Wag the Dog, Sphere, Bandits, and much, much more.

A movie written by Chris Columbus (no, not the explorer). The writer behind Gremlins and the Goonies. Who later went on to become a director in his own right of such hits as Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Adventures in Babysitting. He's also the man who launched the Harry Potter series, directing the first two installments.

Now imagine that this movie was produced by Steven Spielberg. A movie that also happened to contain the first CGI shots ever put to film.

CGI, bitch!

Do you begin to see my frustration?

The movie is of course, Young Sherlock Holmes!

You should have seen this movie...or at least heard about it.

It has everything! Action, adventure, mystery, romance, etc.

The story is basically told through the eyes of an elder Watson looking back on his first adventure with Sherlock Holmes. What begins as a schoolyard murder mystery ends with conspiracy, ritualistic sacrifices, murder and mayhem. Along the way there's an Egyptian cult to defeat with the lives of innocents and the protagonists hanging (literally) in the balance. The score is EPIC and carries us along through the rooftops of London to the tragedy of the ones we fail to save. Moriarty even get's involved.

I dare you to listen to 30 seconds of that score above and NOT be interested in watching this flick. Sometimes, that's all that's needed to propel a great movie into the realm of phenomenal...into the waiting arms of Ricky Bobby.

Not enough? OK...CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Did you watch that?

Are you sure?

You really should...FYI. If only to get a handle on the situation that I'm presenting.

Maybe now you can catch a glimpse of the anguish that has become the first brick laid down upon the road of this gnarly and wholly unnatural crusade I have wrought upon myself. People should have seen this movie in droves!

But there is a culprit here as to why I believe they didn't. Or at least, it's my theory that the reason you aren't familiar with this masterpiece is partially because of the title.

The title contains the name Sherlock Holmes. I believe that until recently this has been a stigma against many great stories, series, and movies.

Thanks to the wonderful Sherlock Holmes movie from 2009 starring Robert Downey Jr., the character has been brought blasting forth into the mainstream. Many people felt this was a new and different take on the character.

Well...I've read every single Sherlock Holmes story ever written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and while I loved the 2009 film, I was frustrated because everyone seemed to think it was a whole new spin on Sherlock Holmes.

It wasn't.

And that's the problem. Everyone seems to see Sherlock as just this bookish, boorish, annoying fellow in a bizarre hat and cloak smoking a pipe with a drug problem. The reality is that Sherlock Holmes is a BADASS. He's an accomplished swordsman and boxer. He's the world's first fully functional crimefighter. Sure the stories don't always focus on his physical prowess, but still it's almost always implied.

For God sake's he was Batman before there was Batman. He's one of the world's first action heroes!!!

So when I see Sherlock Holmes I read BADASS, the world on a whole reads PRISSY.

Sorry, but that just ain't so. And this is why I will continue to pick up the flag for Young Sherlock Holmes and crusade for this forgotten movie that we all should know and love.

Watch it today...and treat the next generation. In fact, I think it's actually complimentary to the Robert Downey Jr. movie. But maybe that's just me. Check it out.

Most coveted real life Star Wars items!!!

It's hard to identify exactly why us geeks like to bring things from our favorite fictional universes into the really real world around us. Yet whether we want to carry a completely functional lightsaber on our hip (and who wouldn't?), a wand we could actually use (holly with phoenix feather of course), or a sonic screwdriver in our pocket, the geek in all of us wants the cool devices and tools from the worlds that couldn't possibly be real.

However reality is vastly subjective. The world was changed forever because the original Star Trek series had flip-open communicator's. Many cell phone designers have admitted that Star Trek played a part in their concepts. And now we have even smarter, more capable phones that are more like pocket computers, very much like the Tricorders seen in Star Trek: The Next Generation and other Trek based media.

Exhibit A

Look familiar?

Let's be honest, I could write a BOOK about how much Star Trek has inspired the technology we currently have and will soon have. Everything from transporters, to holodecks (covered previously), and nanobots.

But I digress. I tend to do that if you haven't noticed.

Instead, let's focus in on the Star Wars stuff we want to be real. Because hey, I love Star Wars and you better too! Plus, while Star Trek is awesome as well, it's more realistic than Star Wars and you could argue that maybe all of the tech that is in Trek that we're getting we would've gotten anyway. You can't necessarily say that about everything in Star Wars.

Thus begins the things I covet most from the Star Wars universe.

This would be a good time for theme music, I'm telling ya.







Lightsabers

Let's get the most OBVIOUS one out of the way. You knew it was coming.

The most bad ass weapon ever dreamed of in the history of the universe...believe it. I could really just end it at that. The lightsaber can cut through almost anything and deflect everything. Plus, it just looks cool. What makes any kind of weapon awesome is basically cool looking + functionality = WIN. The cooler looking and more functional a weapon, the better it is. Personally, this is why I believe the lightsaber will never be dethroned.

All varying levels of cool weaponry, but can't hold a candle to the lightsaber.

The M41-A Pulse Rifle from Aliens...the only thing that comes close.

In all seriousness though, no other device and/or weapon has inspired such worship. From toy replicas to the various YouTube videos showcasing someone's lightsaber you can see how beloved and idealized the lightsaber it is. Hell, I've watched documentaries on the Discovery channel showing how scientists have tried to get them working and out there...especially in the face of military contracts. I actually have no doubt someday they will exist. Hopefully by that time our work in robotic appendages will be up to par. Haha.

Thermal Detonators

Ever since this little device was introduced in Return of the Jedi I have wanted one. 

Don't know why and don't know what it does. It looks interesting and it is obviously dangerous since Boba Fett reacts so strongly when it is used in a threatening manner:

QUICK DRAW!

Thanks to the MANY (almost sinful, unbelievable amount) Star Wars games I've played, I know that the thermal detonator is an explosive device that spreads out an incendiary wave coupled with some sort of almost fractal force that is concussive in nature spreading out in about a ten yard radius. 

But is it canon one asks!? 

Bottom line, it looks deadlier and far more awesome and appealing than the video games have shown. I want one. 

Princess Leia

  

Okay, I know this one isn't techy, but I never said they would ALL be technological things items from Star Wars. Princess Leia was one of my first loves. One of the many iconic female heroines I grew up with both idolizing and somewhat falling for. Between the She-Ra's and Ripley's of the 1980's a template started forming within my young and impressionable mind of what I should want and look for in a woman. And Goddamit if Princess Leia didn't just about damn well break the mold (until a decade or so later when Buffy hit the scene).

Here was a gal with spirit! Intelligence! Moxy! Courage! Sass! Quiet reserve! Not sure if that last point deserved an exclamation point. When we first meet Princess Leia she is somewhere around her late teen's or early twenties and she's already a politician and rebel rolled into one! She's beautiful but strong and self-reliant. Indeed, when the boys come to rescue her all they really do is let her out of her cage...she takes over from there. She's badass, yet still vulnerable and soft. Stubborn and argumentative but passionate and idealistic. She's just as likely to argue with Han as she is to kiss him. This only adds to her allure.

And of course, the gold bikini doesn't hurt...

 

Boba Fett's Rocket Pack

 

This is just another example of something from Star Wars that screams cool. A rocket pack that fires a rocket. Effin' awesome. 

It's also another example of something from Star Wars that has been spliced into the real world on everything from hoodies to backpacks and real life rocket packs!

Cool backpack for your kid today!

And hell, the rocket pack thing has been around for years. Let us not bring up one of the coolest movies of all time, the Rocketeer! 

Again, it's almost a question of who WOULDN'T want one? 

But I want Boba Fett's. A rocket pack that can fire a missile up someone's arse while keeping me stabilized enough to open fire with my M41-A Pulse Rifle or throw my lightsaber at just the right speed and trajectory to decapitate you while blocking the laser bolt you just sent at me! 

My God, that might be the coolest imagery I've ever put down to metaphorical paper!

The Millennium Falcon's Yoke

 

You're probably wondering what a yoke is. Well it's the control column of an aircraft. In this particular case it's the thing that you can sort of partially see in front of the seat on the left in the photo above. 

In my lifetime I expect to see a lot of things. But getting to own and operate my own Millennium Falcon is not one of them. Still, I covet the hell out of that baby. 

So for many years I have been quietly searching, scouring the internet for better pictures of the steering controls to the Falcon. I've been saving what I could and photocopying from books I've bought or already have in order to have the best representation possible of that legendary steering column. For one purpose.

One day I'm going to have someone fabricate an exact replica of the Falcon's yoke in order to transplant it to whatever vehicle I am driving at the time to be used as a steering wheel. 

Yep.

That's quite possibly the geekiest thing I've admitted to on this site. You're welcome. 

Even now with how far the internet has come, it's hard to find a good picture of the damn thing:

This might be one of the best representations I've seen on the net and it's from a toy!

To me this is sort of like the Holy Grail of Star Wars. To have this one item would be amazing by itself, but to be able to use it everyday? Come on, that's immortal and amazing.

And I'm not joking. I literally have been planning this for years and WILL have it made one day. Mark my words, ladies and gents. 

At the end of the day the geeky things we covet (especially from Star Wars) help to make the world a better place. Even if that world and that better place is just our own.  

Untitled novel excerpt 3:

Calling my novel untitled really isn't accurate anymore.

I have a title for the novel, but since it is a trilogy I don't have name for that overall story arc. But for the individual entries, well those I have a name for. I'm not gonna reveal 'em just yet though.

Well maybe the first one soon enough.

Classic movie review: The Princess Bride

Before I started this little project, I was going to run a website that was strictly dedicated to movie reviews. So I started reviewing every movie that I'd watch even if it was one I'd seen a million times. Seriously, I kept a  notepad by my recliner and everything.

However, the idea started evolving for various reasons and I eventually got further and further away from a website dedicated strictly to movie reviews. That left me with a bunch of reviews for older movies that were sort of worthless regarding the format that I've established here and now.

Nuts to that I say!

So I figured why not post them. Not all at once, but slowly and surely. I was planning on reviewing new and old movies for the movie website anyway, why couldn't my readers be hip enough to enjoy commentary on a classic?

It's in this spirit of things that I now present my review on the Princess Bride, hope you enjoy:

Undoubtedly, the Princess Bride is one of the all time greats. Almost an immediate classic when it came out, there's not much that can be said negative about this film. I would dare anyone to try and would fight viciously to defend it.

As the story begins, a sick child (played by a young Fred Savage) is read the book, the Princess Bride by his grandfather (Peter Falk) who expertly explains that this book has everything. From fencing to true love, there is indeed not much left out of this phenomenal masterpiece.
   
The film is directed by Rob Reiner based on the novel written by William Goldman who also wrote the script for the movie. Reiner expertly balances the comedic tone of the film with the seriousness of some of it's plot devices including but not limited to the likes of revenge, true love, murder, and torture. Truly funny and almost a complete comedy the film sometimes wobbles into the land of farce but never truly topples over. Over the years, many films have tried to copy the blend of humor and drama that exists here but most have failed to come close. And nearly all have failed to perfectly nail it.
   
Of course, the film wouldn't hit on all cylinder's if it weren't for a remarkable cast that features Cary Elwes as the romantic farm boy Westley who endures all sorts of pain, misery and trouble for his true love Robin Wright as Princess Buttercup. Along the way, comes Mandy Patinkin as the brilliant swordmaster Inigo Montoya who seeks revenge for the death of his father by way of working with Fezzik the giant played by Andre the Giant and their boss, the self-described criminal master mind Vizzini portrayed by the always hilarious Shawn Wallace. With Christopher Guest as the cruel Count Rugen and Chris Sarandon as the villainous Prince Humperdink our bad guys are present and rounded out.
   
However, the cameo's by Carol Kane and Billy Crystal as Valerie and Miracle Max respectively, are comic gold and one of the major great scenes in a film full of great scenes.

Bye, bye boys! Have fun storming the castle!

   
Honestly, if you've never seen this movie, just stop reading this review and go buy it. Don't rent it, just go buy it. It will be treasured within your heart of heart's for all time.
   
Still reading?
   
Okay, I'll humor ya.
   
The basic plot of the movie follows Westley's journey from farm boy to much, much more as he pursues the woman he loves and goes from probably dead, to very much alive, to mostly dead and finally to fully alive only weakened and yet vindicated. That may sound bizarre, but to the initiated it will make perfect sense. In any case, very quickly in the film Westley and Buttercup fall in love. The problems arise when Prince Humperdink chooses Buttercup as his Princess (it's explained that the Prince can marry whoever he wants) if only in order to have his people truly love and respect her just so that he can have her murdered and frame the crime on his country's sworn enemy in order to start a financially beneficial war. Might sound pretty complex for a swashbuckling film featuring pirates and monsters, but it's really not. It's actually surprisingly simple and the characters are what endears you to the story in the first place. Even the villains are enjoyable because they're played so well and given so much to work with.
   
Still reading?
   
You want more?
   
In this movie you will find one of the greatest swordfights to ever be filmed. Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin were highly involved in this duel, having been instructed by the great Bob Anderson (one of Hollywood's most renowned swordmasters). When these gentlemen weren't busy with other aspects of the film they were constantly practicing. The proof is in the pudding.

   
Both men learned to duel with either hand. That's saying something.
   
Another wonderful production note to this movie is that the chemistry between Patinkin and Andre the Giant was very, very good due to their interesting dynamic. Patinkin being a big man himself and rather impatient with the unpracticed and sometimes sloppy Mr. Giant would often hit him and yell, "FASTER!" at Andre when he stuttered with his lines or just flat out forgot them. You can see their dynamic clearly on screen, and while Mandy Patinkin's actions sound violent they were actually absurd and often hilarious, the two had an almost brotherly relationship and enjoyed each other's company. One can imagine that Andre probably loved and respected the brass and boldness of Mandy's direction, pushing him to be better. 
   
Seriously, it is a crime if you haven't seen this movie and I am running out of things to say about it!
   
Great films almost don't deserve to be critiqued. Everything that needs to be said is on the screen. And believe me, I could probably quote this movie from start to finish. Not just because I've seen it so many times but because it's that memorable and quotable.
   
Do yourself a favor and enjoy the Princess Bride today.