Look carefully at the following link:
Paramount Studio's 100 year anniversary dipshit photo!
There was really no feasible way to post this on the Batcave. If there was I would have done it. So please, if you haven't clicked the link and looked at this obnoxious shit, do so now.
Why does this make me mad?
Well, I find Hollywood to be akin to a spoiled, arrogant, obnoxious, and completely ignorant teenager or child. I WANT to believe that there's something better behind the emerald curtain, but this kind of photo just continues to prove my inclinations and gut reactions that are based on the experiences of a lifetime of interest dedicated to movie making:
THESE PEOPLE ARE MORONS.
The problem with this photo and the problem with Hollywood is that there is zero ownership of any one-given mistake. They seem to find some sort of value out of making money off of a terrible film. They are flaunting their mistakes in our collective face.
Sure, some would argue that when they make millions off of garbage, they have the right to count that as a win.
But here's where they are SO wrong.
First of all, Hollywood execs consider themselves businessmen first and foremost. Let's take the fact that they are working in a somewhat artistic field out of the equation for starters. Furthermore, how about we use an example like Transformers (which is totally appropriate since Paramount fanned my flames tonight). Yes, this franchise has made BILLIONS of dollars. But it's polarized fans across the world, it's more known as Bayformers than Transformers to the internet. And to a world that is vastly more and more about the internet, this definitely MATTERS. Good businessmen should know this. They should know that while they have made billions off of the Transformers movies, they could have possibly made TRILLIONS off of a more faithful storyline and design.
The mere possibility of more money is what is supposed to make a good businessman tick.
NOW, let's add the reality factor back into the equation. These so-called businessmen are working with an artistic product. So, shouldn't they just hire the talent, sit back and market the damn thing appropriately?
Nope.
Instead we get studio influence that has famously ruined too many movies to mention. Again, I feel it goes back to the basics of business, hire good people and let them do their job. If you don't have faith in their product, why did you hire them to begin with? Especially with artists? Shouldn't they be allowed to create?
If you're in bed with artists shouldn't you care about making a good product JUST as much as you care about making money off of it? If not, why are you making movies?
How dare you count a terrible movie with a high gross as a win!
What's the frakking point? Argh, there is none...because the top dog's in Hollywood are morons. I've known this since I was 10, and if there was any doubt, here's my favorite story of a studio frakking up one of the simplest stories ever told:
And then the actor's get to share some guilt. They're so stoic and opinionated about their political beliefs and who they are and what they've done and why they've done it and blah, blah, blah...
Pay them enough money and they will get up on a stage and smile and stand around and hang out with whoever you ask them to. It's the old why I hate Sean Penn number...the dude tries to act distinguished and uses his fame as a tool for his ill-fated political beliefs and - STOP - the guy never graduated High School...who gives a flying fuck what he has to say or think about anything?
So why am I surprised?
I'm not...it's just the sheer audacity of this picture that annoys me.
Like why is Johnny fucking Knoxville in this picture...and better yet, why didn't anyone else in this picture have the balls to ask that question or kick him off the set? Jack Nicholson is supposed to be a badass right? He didn't have a problem with this? It's just so bizarre...and cowardly.
How the hell does Eddie Murphy have the nerve to be in this with that smug look on his face...he's cost the studio tons of money!?
Why is David Lynch on here?
Katie Featherston (Paranormal Activity) is seriously sitting next to Scott Glenn...
Oh and WHY THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER IN THIS!?
The ONLY cool thing about this photo that I can find is that MOST of the new Star Trek crew is sort of centered around each other...that's IT.
Oh, and Emile Hirsch - cut your hair. You missed the 60's, get over it.
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