MY personal X-Men Team

I have warned you in the past about how geeky I can get but I don't think I've ever gotten as geeky on the Cave as I will today.

The X-Men are hands down my favorite comic-book team of all time. Their story and their countless comic book series would probably be my numero uno if it weren't for my great love, the Batman. So I decided instead of giving them second place in terms of comic book love I gave them first place in my heart for TEAM.

Because there are all sorts of teams: Fantastic Four, the Avengers, the Justice League, Teen Titans, Generation X, New Mutants, X-Factor, Heroes for Hire, Young Justice, Birds of Prey, X-Force, etc.

But personally? The X-Men have always been that sort of perfection that can't be forced when you try to put ANY type of team together. The sort of awe-inspiring wonder behind ultimate and terrible (yet truly wonderful) power and sheer chemistry and charisma.

The Fantastic Four have always sort of been the go-to team for the nuclear family unit - or at least, Marvel's version of it. Yet I always felt like they were the Brady Bunch. Unrealistic, unmoving and uninteresting.

I'm very spoiled because I grew up in a wonderful, fully-functional family. But even then, we had our arguments and disagreements. I realized pretty quickly that my family was Hollywood's version of the Brady Bunch or Growing Pains, or Home Improvement (insert your familial-generational sitcom). But the X-Men always came off like the real deal to me. There were times when characters HATED each other and damn near killed each other but they always came together to deal with the major problem. True, if it wasn't for the powers they possessed, life and death wouldn't be an issue for the team, but it was, due in large part to the heightened sense of drama within their lives.

Because the X-Men don't only work as a metaphorical family. The X-Men have always been a commentary on minorities. They are the outcast, the few, the socially unacceptable that choose to be positive rather than negative. They use their powers to protect those who hate and fear them. It's an allegory for being black, or gay, or different in any way that's socially and supposedly unacceptable. While this could be looked at as preaching, I've almost never felt that it was heavy-handed (with the exception of a few writers - I'm looking at the asshat Grant Morrison right now). The reality is that all of this world and character building serves to make the idea that the X-Men are a family unit and a team all that more stronger.

Over the years, I have made extremely fond memories of everything X-Men. If it wasn't the comics and the 90's cartoon, it was the arcade game that everyone remembers, or the action figures (that I still have), and the forays into cinema for both good and BAD.

So it is now, with this knowledge that I have given you that I present the definitive X-Men TEAM...were I allowed to play the Prof.

The only caveat is that most X-Men teams over the decades have been made up of about 5-7 members in any one given team (over the years there's been X-Factor / X-Men, Gold team / Blue team, Wolverine's X-Men / Cyclops' X-Men, etc. and on and on).






7. Bishop

This guy is a total powerhouse. Hailing from the future, Bishop comes from a violent world where he acted as a sort of police officer (or X-Man) going after Mutants that abused their powers. Bishop is one tough dude. He will more than likely follow orders to the letter, only bucking the system when it is truly wrong. He loves his multiple sidearms probably just as much as his powers and his combat experience helps loads in tactical situations. Speaking of powers, this dude can take a hit. Energy absorption and manipulation. Anything thrown at him can be thrown right back as powerful energy blasts...and yes, he can stock up. Bishop's power and his experience make him one of my point men.






6. Banshee

Banshee may not look like much but this is an Irish bad-ass. He's an ex-interpol agent with the ability to blast soundwaves at ultra-sonic frequencies enabling him to do everything from create mini-tornado's to allowing him to fly which ALL equals to: you're blasted to Hell. This is another guy with paramilitary training and leadership expertise. He's versatile, smart, and can follow orders. Sean Cassidy is also tough and resourceful, not to mention he's a flyer - VERY important for a team. You'll notice I have two flyer's with one acting as a sub-flier (member 4).







5. Colossus

You're going to notice a trend on my X-Men team, and that will be lack of physical fighters. I'm all about energy projection and keeping the enemy away and at bay. Yet, in every fight there will be the need for drop-down, fist-to-fist action. Colossus is the strongest there is. And he's resilient. It takes bucko power to pierce that organic metal flesh of his. Not to mention he's on par with the Russian from Rocky IV in terms of sheer intimidation and straight-forwardness. When Piotr is coming at you, best get out of his way.






4. Nightcrawler

Kurt Wagner is charming, dashing, heroic, intelligent, sensitive and funny. He also looks like a demon who has a prehensile tail with expert swordsman capabilities as well as the oh-so-subtle ability to teleport over vast distances. He's also got a thing about God and religion. Nightcrawler would be the team's moral compass with the ability to strike hard and fast with total surprise. You'll notice I've split my team up between defense and offense. Bishop, Banshee, and Colossus very much serve as shields, the final three act as swords with Nightcrawler somewhere in the middle mostly to cause chaos. But he's also not down for anything less than bravery and righting wrong's. Which makes him an important member.






3. Phoenix aka Jean Grey

Out of all the team slots this is the one I struggled with the most, to include Jean or not to include Jean. Sure she's a POWERFUL psionic, but she's also sometimes unstable and can clash with my last two members. For a while, I was certain I was going to put Jubilee in this spot because she has the potential to be an extremely powerful mutant...however, Jean is ALREADY an extremely powerful mutant and at her worst, she is hard to control, at her best (which is most of the time) she is always considered to be the heart and soul of the X-Men. And let us not forget she is a telepath and telekinetic which means that she can read the enemy's mind while throwing his army across two states. She's my last flyer and I definitely needed another. Plus, she's a hot redhead and I have a weakness for them girls.






2. Wolverine

Does the guy need an introduction? Yes, I would argue he does. Wolverine is not the mamby-pamby, babysitter, whiny-bitch that you know him as from the horrible Fox movies. Wolverine is an absolute badass. Picture Dirty Harry as a 5'3" hairy dude with an indestructible skeleton and claws to go with a healing factor that makes him so old he remembers being a Samarai in Japan. This guy can and will do some damage. He is the wildcard of any team you put him on. He follows his own code and does what he thinks is right at any given moment. He's tougher than nails and while the healing factor may give him an edge, he's still the first to put himself in such bodily harm as to be psychologically traumatic. Fiercely loyal, he's proven himself time and time again as the man you want to have with you when you're backed into a corner. He'll follow a strong command but wither when you're weak. Some would say I covered the physical attack aspect of my team with Colossus, but this just isn't so. Wolverine is willing to do things that Mr. Rasputin would never even nightmare about. He's also capable of stealth and can push himself harder and faster than most ever could. Not to mention, Logan is my ace in the hole. If ever there were a time to put him on a suicide mission and/or a last stand, he would follow through and then some. If things got truly disastrous and I needed a second-in-command, he's just the kind of temporary combat leader the team would need to get them out of Hell.






 1. Cyclops

Yes, it's my favorite X-Man. And the true team leader. In fact, I've written up all of my team's profiles through the eyes of one Scott Summers. He's taken a lot of flack over the years for being uninteresting and irrelevant but here's why the hater's are wrong:

This is a dude that has the spatial awareness of Captain America. Meaning while Cap is throwing his shield left and right and making predictions on where it will go - Cyclops is doing a similar thing with his extremely powerful ruby beam. He has a high martial-arts proficiency on the level that he can go hand to hand with Wolverine. He's smart and highly capable, having been the X-Men field leader since he was 17. Over the years, his tactical experience simply cannot be matched. He has a natural psionic block which allows most psychics little access into his head. Because he was married to Jean Grey he can at least exert some control and interest over her (granted this really only works for the specifics of my team, but it works in years past as well). Not to mention he's also dated the White Queen, another powerful psychic.

In a rare de-powered moment - still on top of things.

Now let's talk about those red blasts of his.

Cyclops' optic blasts are concussive in nature and have no recoil. Meaning this guy can literally punch through mountains while standing still. And that's just the beginning. Most believe that Cyclops has only lightly tapped the beginning of his power. He is so controlled and structured and so afraid of hurting those he does not wish to that he has set certain mental blocks and limits on his own abilities thus creating a distance between what he does and what he could really frakking do. Yet, mess with the man and well...

ZARKT!!!

And I said GODDAMN.

He's led the X-Men against Magneto, the American Government, the Avengers, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, Onslaught, Sentinels, the Mutant Liberation Front, Omega Red, Bastion, the Sh'iar Empire, and many, many more.

Respected by his teammates and feared by his foes.

With Bishop, Banshee and Colossus leading a foray while Jean Grey and Wolverine tear in decisively within the battle and Nightcrawler pokes in and out, who ELSE would you want to lead the ultimate X-Men team?

I know some of your are thinking about Iceman, Storm and Beast...well, here's why they didn't make the cut:



Storm:

She's too easily taken down by claustrophobia and never seems to let loose with her powers. She could be the best of the best but always seems to hold back. That's probably her writer's faults, but still. She's just always underpowered when she shouldn't be and that speaks to character.






Beast:

I'm a HUGE fan of Beast. He's extremely intelligent but with ferocious strength and animal-like abilities. I totally get that, being a big hairy dude. Yet, I feel like I've got his powers MORE than covered with Wolverine and his intellect almost covered with Cyclops. While I love him, I feel like he's just not the best of the best.





Iceman:

This one is simple. Yes, Iceman is an Omega-level Mutant. But the jackass takes nothing seriously and I simply don't like him. For all the good his power is I think most people realized the POTENTIAL he had for like 30 years before he did. It took a psychic like Emma Frost taking over his body, liquefying it and rebuilding it into ice in the late 90's for the douchebag to figure out there was more to him than just lame one-liner's and throwing snowballs. Sorry, bro, too little too late, go surf so more ice-slides.