The Expendables 2 review

Ah, the Expendables 2, you lovable rogue, you...

Look, it's this simple, you're either all for this movie or you are entirely against it. There's really nothing here beyond black and white. And that's okay.

Once upon a time there was an era of filmmaking when violence was celebrated. Blood was worshiped - when it was shed on screen in the gallons. Muscles were everything and the more your hero had the cooler he was. Magazines never ran out of ammo, physics was a class in High School for dorks and gunshot wounds were for pussies - or the bad guys. It was the era of the 80's. The balls to the wall spend all that you got and go for the gold era of big music, big hair, and big movies.

I count myself extremely grateful to say that I grew up in this world. It was a time when a movie like Robocop (one of the most ultra-violent films ever made) marketed toys to kids yet maintained a HARDCORE R-rating.

The blood splatter was better, more realistic, and hugely more grotesque than anything audiences have seen in an action film for decades. And this is just the tip of the iceberg, folks.

While the original Expendables left a lot to be desired, there was the formation of an idea that mattered. Beyond anything else that the first movie accomplished, it left the door open for opportunity. It started something, much like a prologue (at least in my mind). A tip of the hat to old school schlock that had limitless possibilities once you factored in how many classic heroes you could cram into however many sequels the studio was game for.

You have to celebrate the idea behind this series. Take the world's best and brightest action stars and throw them together for some mindless fun. Even if you're young enough not to have experienced some of the great Stallone or Schwarzenegger flicks you should still be able to at least appreciate what's being done here. Yeah, it's corny but that's sort of the point. This is a very much tongue-in-cheek film. It's not made to be analyzed.

Notice, I haven't spent one word trying to talk about the plot...

If you really want me to get critical, I thought the ending fight sequence between Van Damme and Stallone was too short and that the movie relied a little too much on CGI. But other than that, I was in nostalgia heaven. Or in other words, the positives far outweighed the negatives.

This movie brought a big ole' giant smile to my face and I just had a ball with it. Seeing Bruce Willis, Arnold, and Stallone firing heavy weaponry together was nothing short of magical. It was GREAT to see Arnold back in the game and totally putting down foes like he never left. It made me feel like a kid again and it was just sheer fun.

And goddammit, isn't that what movies are all about!?

Sure, I might be biased, but watch some of the classics first. Personally, I'm looking forward to the Expendables 3. Meanwhile, why don't you go watch Commando, Demolition Man, Last Action Hero, True Lies, Timecop, Total Recall (the original), Predator, all of the Rambo, Rocky, Terminator, and Die Hard movies...then maybe we can stand on the same footing and talk about action-flicks.


8 / 10