John Carter review

PHENOMENAL.

Generally speaking, I have a rule of thumb when it comes to movies. Regardless of how they originate, I very rarely pass any kind of final judgment on a project until I at least see a teaser. I can gauge a lot from a trailer/teaser. Usually, I can figure every plot point out and make some sort of assessment as to whether I want to see a film or if I choose to downright hate a flick. This isn't always the case.

John Carter is a prime example.

The marketing for this movie was absolute SHITE. But before I explain this FACT, I have to give some detail:

Hollywood has been trying to make a John Carter of Mars movie (based on the best-selling, and VERY classic novels written by Edgar Rice Burroughs) for a very longtime. At one point, Jon Favreau (Swingers, Iron Man, Monica's boyfriend for a few episodes of Friends, etc.) was attached to direct. This was the only point during John Carter's long walk to the silver screen that I actually believed a movie would shove forward for a touchdown. This did not come to pass. More years went by. Finally, the movie was made.

But apparently no one had any faith in it because it was horribly marketed. Again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The movie was written and directed by Andrew Stanton. This man co-wrote Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Finding Nemo, A Bug's Life, Wall-E, and Toy Story 3. He directed Wall-E and Finding Nemo. He is an Academy Award winning Director. True, this is his first live-action feature. But that shouldn't say much when you look at his resume'.

Fronting the movie you have Taylor Kitsch, who has done some work that we've all seen, but is basically an unknown. Most of the movie is filled with unknowns.

So let's see...we have a gifted writer/director and a group of unknowns within a project that is based on a series of critically acclaimed novels rich with detail, life, story, and charisma.

Who didn't have faith in this project again?

If history has proven anything, it's that talented filmmakers with a great story can make a phenomenal movie with unknowns.

Proof?

Okay:

Hollywood is BAD at business


For those who don't click the link, I'll spare you some time. The predominant trend of the top-grossing movies of all-time is that they don't star anybody that was famous at the time of their release and that they are almost always directed by extremely talented people that had great stories from the word: GO

In this way of thought, John Carter should've been backed wholeheartedly by the studio. It wasn't. You can see this in everything from the lackluster posters:

TO the lackluster trailers that give almost ZERO information:

What happened?

Personally I believe that Disney got to a point where they had had enough of John Carter. They'd spent so much money on the project over the years, they just wanted it done and over with. The problem is that they didn't bother to watch the finished film they had and realize what kind of gold they'd created.

This movie is amazing.

I'm simply astounded at how much I loved it.

The premise is complicated, but I'll walk you through it.

John Carter is a Civil War Veteran who lost his family during the war. He's totally over fighting and he's over doing anything in this world for anyone other than himself. Who can blame him? Partly by fate and partly by accident but ALL by Alien technology, he finds himself transported to Mars. Only this isn't a Mars we've ever read about in school. It doesn't lack oxygen and their are a vast multitude of species living on the planet - JUST GO WITH IT. You have to remember that these books were written in an era where little was known about Mars. It's a lot of fun, and Hell, it takes place in the past so who is to say what happened on Mars back in the day?

I should also mention that Carter has abilities on Mars due to it's distance from the sun. Gravity isn't a huge problem for him so he's super strong, agile, and can leap tall buildings with a single-bound. Makes for great entertainment.

Anyhoo, Carter gets caught up in a ANOTHER Civil War of an entirely different kind and he's forced to make some hard choices. Who and what to fight for? Why do we fight? And can you love again, or better, SHOULD you love again?

In many ways, this film lives or dies on the relationship between John Carter and his love interest, Princess Dejah Thoris (played by the always SEXY Lynn Collins). Thankfully, the chemistry between Kitsch and Collins is effing PALPABLE and you seriously care about their fate and interest in each other. You can believe that they love each other...and that's vastly important in an epic-romantic adventure/fantasty/sci-fi flick.

SEXY

 

More than once, I marveled at the idea that THIS is what it must have felt like to watch Star Wars circa 1977. THIS is what it must have felt like to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark in it's initial release.

Folks, THIS is what they build movie theatres for!

It makes perfect sense that a man that is used to directing animation would be a phenomenal visually-attuned live-action filmmaker.

AND Stanton is the second to do this within months. Brad Bird (the genius behind the Incredibles and fellow Pixar-alum) made Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol!

Goddamn, Pixar just continues to deliver us the goods!

And yet it's all going to ruin.

I will seriously cry if John Carter doesn't get a sequel. If ever there was a movie released that DESERVED a sequel, it's THIS MOVIE!!!

Because of Disney's short-sightedness and ignorance, we may not get a sequel to such a righteously good flick that deserves it infinitely more than half the movies that get greenlit sequels.

So now I'm doing something I have never done before...

I'M BEGGING YOU TO GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

I'M BEGGING YOU TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT.

Let's start a goddamn grassroots movement and make this film profitable for Disney so they'll give us more.

Imagine a world where Star Wars didn't succeed. I absolutely don't want to imagine that scenario nor can I actually conceive of it in any way, shape, or form.

Folks, this is OUR Star Wars.

BELIEVE IT. 


10 / 10

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