Bet you 1,000,000...

What the giant fuck is this movie about?

It may seem like I'm on a bit of the warpath when it comes to Hollywood....well, that's gonna be a common theme. Illogical choices where millions of dollars hang in the balance is going to continually annoy me and therefore I will continue to poke, prod, and viciously attack the morons behind the problem until I am blue in the face even if nothing ever remotely becomes of my fury.

I'm stubborn, what can I say?

Regardless, what is this movie about?

I have no friggin' clue. And that's where this story starts. The poster above only serves to stoke the fire of my already flaming anger when it comes to this flick.

Why? I saw an ad for this movie early tonight. It told me four things:

1. Steve Martin is in the movie.

2. Jack Black is in the movie.

3. Owen Wilson is in the movie.

4. It comes out TOMORROW.


WHO SIGNS OFF ON THIS SHIT?

Seriously...this is what Hollywood thinks sells a movie.

And I am OUTRAGED.

I have NO idea what the movie is about and I haven't even HEARD of it until tonight (the night before it opens WAY late in the night)...AND I AM A CINEPHILE!!!

If this isn't a warning sign of complete and utter idiocy, well, I don't know what is?

People, this movie cost 41 MILLION to make.

There are people starving in the world and this piece of shit cost 41 MILLION.

No one has heard of it and no one has any idea what it's about. Yet somewhere in Hollywoodland someone thinks everything will be all right because the flick stars Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson.

So to totally debunk this myth and completely prove the total assbackwards way of thinking behind this so-called "business decision" I'm going to give you the plot synopsis for this gigantic steaming pile of Brachiosaurus feces...you know, the plot Hollywood clearly doesn't want you to know about:


A group of friends who are obsessed with birding set on a big year, a quest to outdo each other by finding the most species of birds in North America. Their competition is an allegory for the challenges faced in their lives.

41 MILLION for this story.

The writer is the genius behind a bunch of movies you've never heard of.

The director made Marley and Me, and the Devil Wears Prada...two movies that have no visual voice and were clearly studio projects from the word: GO. Meaning, at the virile age of 52 this guy is a YES MAN.

I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

So here's the bet, I'm betting 1 MILLION dollars that:


1. The movie doesn't break even domestically.

      - Meaning that in America it will not make 41 MILLION or more.


2. The movie doesn't even finish at first place in it's opening weekend.

3. The pile of SHIT won't make more than 15 MILLION on it's opening weekend.



THIS is why Hollywood is WRONG.

THIS is why I will continue to berate and attack them.

THIS is why the morons who run the show clearly have a rotten trust fund and do not deserve their inheritance.

THIS is why I call them stupid when they claim to be good businessmen.

FUCK YOU...