Cat's SUCK!

In yet another continuing article series, I will be attempting to explain to you why cats suck and as a side-note why they are also probably not of this Earth.

Sure, when I was a toddler I had a nasty incident with a cat that almost cost me an eyeball, but that's irrelevant! The facts will stand on their own. You will see, oh yes, you will see.

Cats totally suck.


They use their own saliva to clean themselves.

This is totally gross. I mean, do I really need to go any further on this one? Think about it for a minute. Gross. Their fur is literally covered in bacteria and general funkdified nastiness.



They hate water.

File this one under the whole probably alien category. I mean cats don't even drink water, do they? I know they do, but don't they prefer milk? That's just weird. Do they not need water to survive? Forget giving them a bath, what's with their paranoid fear of water? What are they hiding, and more importantly what does this say about them and a possible weakness?



They inspire a bizarre-level of worship. 

Crazy cat ladies.

I could literally stop right there. But I won't.

ANYTHING that inspires this level of devotion immediately disturbs and turns me off. You can literally find costumes on the internet inspired by crazy old cat ladies. Cats = insanity is the message I see here.



They are surrounded with superstitions.

I can't think of one other animal on the planet that has more mysticism, paranormal references, and superstitions attached to their being than cats. Nothing good can come of it. There is something to be said of the Old World and what they were afraid of. Clearly, to the minds of the Ancients, cats were otherworldly. Perhaps from another planet? You see where I went with that?



As time progresses more evidence will be presented on this case. Until then, stay away from the feline's and always keep watching...looking to the stars (for when their masters return)!

Cat's SUCK!

Definitely not from the Milky Way...