Killer Elite Review

Coolest fight move in the movie. Statham is about to land his chair on this guy.

I'm not going to review Killer Elite.

It's a horrible movie so let's just leave it at that. Instead, I'm going to try and figure out what went wrong or exactly why things HAD to go wrong.

You see there is actually a good movie here somewhere. For starters, about a half an hour of bullshit junk needs to be cut off the meat. But that's kid's stuff.

I'm not going to go too much into the plot because it's dumb. However, I gotta explain a bit so that I can show that there IS a story to be told here...just not this one.

Killer Elite is about a Middle Eastern Sheik who has lost three sons over the years to various SAS (English Special Forces) agents and wants revenge. So he basically blackmails an ex-operative (from where and for who, who knows) to kill off these guys so that he can hold on to some vague ridiculous claim on an oil supply...if you smell the Liberal agenda on this POS you just won the GRAND PRIZE:

Batcave T-Shirts ARE coming!

I digress.

One of the MANY failures of this movie starts with the premise and the script on a whole. Whoever in Hollywood thinks that an audience would care about some rich guy's terrorist sons and a mission to avenge their death by killing British soldiers that were following orders while in war needs to lose their job right this second.

That being said, there might have been a story here. It would have required some heavy script work, better direction, and more of an emphasis on characters rather than action, but given the cast that was assembled, I don't see a problem with this. Instead we're treated to a story we don't care about with moronic characters that are supposed to be experts in the field of espionage yet can't seem to pick up on when their being tailed or how to shoot a gun properly. Stupid.

Why did this happen?

Seriously, I'm asking, because I don't know. Hollywood constantly defends it's idiotic decisions by exclaiming that they are business men first and foremost and that everything they do and decide by is based on the bottom line, that almighty dollar.

Except they keep making HORRIBLE business decisions.

So the script for Killer Elite comes in, first thing that should be done is the damn thing needs a better title. That's Film 101. The title sucks. Next up, based on what I saw today, the script probably needed at least two re-writes. Maybe even a total overhaul from beginning to end. I'm on the record now, if that script fell on my desk as is, I wouldn't make the movie. If it was my money, or I was placed in a position of power to control other people's money. That flick doesn't get made.

Whatever. Some idiot executive pushes it through for any number of asinine reasons (maybe they've been trying to get this movie made for years and have already spent millions on re-writes...I don't know the full history, but sometimes you have to cut your losses). They attach a director. A cheap, no-name, untested director. Sometimes this can pay off, but usually it doesn't. If you have a shitty script and you attach a shitty director, you're gonna more than likely get a shitty movie.

Hollywood consistently tries to use C material + B actors + C or even D directors to achieve an A movie.

This equation DOES NOT WORK. It goes back to basic fundamentals of business. If you cut corners, you're cutting quality, if you cut quality, you cut profits. Simple as that, folks. It's really not that hard to figure out. LOGIC! Who knew!?

Where were we, oh that's right, so we have a no-name director attached. Okay, so then what, we get some talented actors. Here's where things get interesting. You have Robert DeNiro attached. Clive Owen. Jason Statham. These guys range from awesome to pretty decent both in the acting and action range.

My first question here is how did they get these guys to do this shitty movie (besides money)? Granted, Clive and Jason tend to do whatever they're offered (God knows why they're both better than half the shit they're in), while DeNiro seems to be more about a paycheck these days. But still, you got a good cast, there is the potential for a good movie, why not make one?

And my second question is why didn't anyone demand a re-write once the talent that was being arranged started looking so good?

It's another one of those old Hollywood equations that DOES NOT WORK. Just attach a big name to a project and it will sell...except it doesn't. Maybe back in the 70's, but today's audiences aren't fooled by big names anymore. They've seen too many of their favorite actors star in horrible pieces of shit that they've had to shell out way too much money over.

Check this list out, please...

Why are you looking at the all-time domestic box office results? Take a good look at how many of those movies on that list were sold because of an actor that starred in the movie?

Most of them if not all don't have any big names in them. Or at least, no one that was big at the time they were released. The vast majority of those movies are not "star vehicles". For many, the actors were almost entirely unknown at the release date.

Think about that and let it sink in.

This one truth shines a GINORMOUS (gigantic-enormous, thank you very much) light on the failure of Hollywood's thinking and operation. It should be a slap in the face. They'll throw money at a waste of a project like Abduction because it stars Taylor Lautner when they fail to grasp why something is popular. The Twilight franchise is not popular because of any one actor. For whatever reason, it speaks to people (mostly immature girls, but it speaks to people). Taylor Lautner is a SMALL part of that. The same could be said for almost any of those movies. Avatar was NOT a hit because of Sam Worthington or Zoe Saldana (two names we only know now BECAUSE of Avatar), yet Hollywood keeps trying to shove both of them down our throats. Titanic made Leonardo DiCaprio famous, not the other way around. Do you see what I'm saying here?

The business model is flawed and it has been for so many years. And yet, the executives of Hollywood keep throwing money away on wasted projects and call themselves businessmen.

Ultimately, it just continues to PISS me off. You have a movie like Killer Elite that is equatable to the poor step-son. It's got some really good qualities going for it. Maybe that's an overstatement. Okay, it's got some really strong potential. But it's neglected. Some idiot seems to think that if they just throw money at it, everything will be fine because it's got Robert DeNiro in it. That is not the way it works. And it's sad, because with a little effort, attention to detail, and slightly higher quality of talent there actually could have been a good movie here that would have made some killer profit. Heh.