I really can't stand slow drivers. I think they are obnoxious. And I'm not even talking about the idiots on their cell phones or the broads doing their make-up in the rear view mirror. That idiocy goes without saying.
No, I'm talking about the morons that drive slow for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON!
We live in truly glorious times. Seriously, we live truly the best lives that human beings have ever lived on this planet (see how I didn't rule out the possibility of human beings living elsewhere in the universe a la Star Wars?). I'm generalizing, but when it comes to this topic, you kinda have to. We have serious medical advantages and technologies that keep us alive way longer than ever before. War, famine and plague are all lower than what we're used to, especially given the population alive versus population affected. We have technology up the wazoo allowing us to enjoy knowledge that is literally at our fingertips and entertainment via television, movies, and video games that is unlike anything anyone ever could have imagined. We are connected through our technological means of communication in a way that keeps things relevant and awesome. Travel is also insanely easier for us than ever before. Sure gas costs are up, but how many people from the Wild West got to visit Paris after simply saving up some money? How many Dark Age single women got to visit more than a handful of countries without being raped or at the very least were in the business of prostitution?
That got serious there for a second. OK, well my point is that life is hard but it used to be a HELL of a lot harder. Especially in terms of travel.
For so many centuries travel was conducted via horse. Translation: you didn't travel much and when you did you usually didn't go very far. Because while I love to go riding, it's not something you wanna do for more than a couple hours. Riding a horse can be rough, tiring, and painful. Not to mention it's not that fast when you consider my next point:
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| DeLorean's! Only amazing because of Doc Brown! |
We have CARS!
Thanks to the internal combustion engine we have the ability to just get in and go! We can get across town in minutes. Vegas tonight? Done. New York in a couple days? Please. And the awesomest (yes, it's a word) thing about cars is that we keep making them better. Better durability, gas mileage, speed, etc.
Taking all of this in, my question is: WHY WOULD YOU EVER DRIVE SLOW.
You can haul ass, but you're driving 30 mph on the on-ramp and merging into traffic that is going 60 mph and up!
You're in the fast lane going 65 mph when it's usually safe to drive 75-80 mph! It's called the FAST LANE, get out of it if you're not going to risk driving FAST you asshat!
And the whole speed limit thing is another pile of bullshit. I mean, it's called a limit, but let's get serious, more often than not it should be considered a STARTING POINT. This is one of many cases of the Government looking out for the seriously retarded, protecting the morons from hurting themselves. So they set the limits with an eye for the dipshit with bald tires, bad vision, and utter disdain for visual awareness. Well, I'm sorry, but 45 mph might be okay for him as a LIMIT, but my limit is 60 at the most. Why do I have to suffer because he lacks a skill set (driving is absolutely a skill set that SO many of you have no proficiency in)? Why do I have to suffer because he doesn't buy new tires and take care of his car's many problems?
Especially on the freeway! I'm sorry if you're not going AT LEAST 65 mph on the freeway there is something wrong with you and yes, I will tailgate you if you're in my way. Because I drive extremely aggressively.
Which brings me to my next point:
DRIVING FAST IS FUN!
It's rewarding to get somewhere faster than the average moron. Plus, it's just fun. I hate getting stuck behind slower traffic because I enjoy driving. I like to drive and I like to drive fast. But see, I wouldn't even call it fast. I'd call it reasonable. It's not like I'm hitting the highway at 90 mph. But 75 or 80? Come on...that's just standard. And yeah, on a surface street that says the limit is 45, I'll probably at least pull 50 or 55, but I don't think that's a problem (unless I get caught by the cop that doesn't have anything better to do than make money for the city).
The problem is the jackasses that drive 30 in a 45. Or 50 on the freeway. Or 65 in the fast lane. I don't understand this. Part of me simplifies it and goes straight to the moron button. They must be stupid. They drive slow, means they are slow. I truly think there's something to that actually. But it can't be for all cases. Actually I think a lot of people are scared to drive. They've never been trained properly and they stress and worry all along the way to work as they merge into traffic (which they hate doing because they're fearful), or brake too hard and/or too often out of panic because they weren't looking ahead to see what was going on. Too many times I notice that most drivers aren't paying any attention whatsoever to what's happening a mile up the road...but that's driving, it's what you should be doing. Again, it's a skill set that hasn't been developed in enough people.
Take traffic jams in general. They aren't caused by an abundance of people on the road. They are caused by an abundance of idiots on the road who brake too early, too much, and/or too hard when usually they could have just taken their foot off the brake in order to slow down. If there is anything you take away from this article, take that piece of wisdom. You actually rarely should brake, just keep your eye on the horizon and see what's going on down there...usually all you need to do is take your foot off the gas pedal in order to slow down a bit.
And when you don't need to slow down, speed up!!!
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